EP313 #2

Posted under EP313 #2, Story On By Chief

You are the Black Hook, an 18th century pirate turned band manager. You feel like you want to get the crew back together for old times sake to find that your first mate has a cushy new job at the local tavern and not working on the ship as hard as he used to.

The captain of this vessel is none other than Captain Flint, who was once one of your former crew mates.
you tell Captain Flint "I want you to quit your job at Long John Silvers and join me on the road. We're goin on tour."
"What?! I'm not going to be able to do it! It's too far away!"
"It'll still be more than enough time for you to catch up on your sleep.
You use your Hook Hand with wifi and see an old pirate journal entry about exploring world.  Your story inspires Captain Flint to quit his job immediately and you hit the road read to start your new band: "Captain Flint and the Street Kids."
What Happens Next?
You have a few options now:

Get back to work and continue on the road.
Turn the bus around and go back home to sleep.
Make a pitstop at a truck stop and look for excitement at a nearby super-giant adult playground.
You are a pirate!
You make a pitstop at a truck stop and look for excitement at a nearby super-giant adult playground.
You see a slumping man wearing a backpack. It's Headless Hank. You have a sudden urge to play a game with him, but you are too tired to do so.
> You search the playground, looking for adult fun.
The playground is massive. There's a clanging metal slide, a climbing center, a sandpit, a seesaw, a swing set, and a bunch of other things you can't quite name yet.
And all of them have the hottest sweatiest naked wenches on them.
You see one spotted lady in the sand area. She is tan with curly black hair and a really hot body.
She smiles at you and says: "Hi, I'm Lucy.
> You say "My name is Black Hook and I like to pillage and plunder"
"My name is Black Hook and I like to pillage and plunder," you reply.
The lady extends her hand, which you accept.
"I've heard a lot about you. I'm Lucy."
You play Lucy a song: "Let me Bust in your Brig"
She looks impressed. The other ladies look like they want to kill her, but she is safe.
You turn to run when you feel someone pulling at your underwear and shorts. You turn around, but sees nothing...
you take off both of your eyepatches and see the depantser is still there. That's when you notice, on the ground, a pile of clothes. One of the outfits consists of a ladies' underwear and a bra.
You realize what is happening, and you turn beet red.
You let Lucy show you the ways of love when suddenly Captain Dickhook, a rival Pirate-musician with a Hook for a penis, boards your ship.
"You little scuzzball!" he yells, pulling out his dick.
You proceed to have a swordfight with his dick and win.
Captain Dickhook is subsequently stabbed in the vagina so hard, he falls off the ship.
You see this and along with Captain Flint and Lucy, you write brand new ballad: "Captain Quaid's Manure."
The internet goes crazy over the new lyrics, and you take home a fortune.
Lucy shows her affection in bed with wild sex making with simultaneous orgasms and bubble baths.
Captain Flint pulls out his dick and shoots a load of his own in the air so it would fall on you.
The next day, you pull up at a truckstop.
> You and Captain Flint toast each other with glasses of lead water and agree to never speak of what happened the night before.
You put your glass up to Captain Flint's.
"A long, prosperous and happy partnership!" you both say.
Captain Flint takes a sip, but pauses. He smells the water.
"Hmm... this tastes funny."
"Of course it does. It's lead-flushed water. It's good for the ship's pipes."
The moral of the story: Don't drink lead-flushed water unless you want to become a corpse like Captain Flint.
You both get back to work.