EP313 #1

Posted under EP313 #1, Story On By Chief

You are Pisspocket, the world's most hated clown. The fact that you continue to thrive is often cited as proof that there is a god, and he is cruel. You enter a new city and ponder on how to ruin the lives of it's populace. Your first target: the orphanage.

The orphanage is run by an old woman who has been raising her own children for years.
you start your show by doing some cold reading. She doesn't know what hit her when she saw you coming.
> You tell the woman her future.
"Wait!" she cries, and tries to hit you with a baseball bat. You catch it and give it back to her. "I'm sorry, but I can't let you take my children!
The Joker, the world's most beloved clown, walks in and you realized that the orphanage doubled book your show. He did it so that he could get the children, and feed them to him.
"There's no time for this. The children must go!"
The woman doesn't listen.
you get in a competition with the Joker one-upping each other. He doesn't like losing, so he poisons the children's minds. They are all crawling the walls to get to you, and you know you won't make it out of here.
> You the children run out of the house and spread evil throughout the city.
When all seems lost, Ben-Hur. A hero from the realm of ancient times rises from the dead to save the day, just as you begin to lose your battle with the children.
Ben-Hur tries to rush the Joker with his chariot when Chip Baskets, rodeo clown distracts his horses. This allows the children to spear and kill them. The circus fools are all scared, but the children aren't.
> You chip Baskets summons the forces of an undead clown army with his goofy stick.
The clowns overwhelm the children, who can't understand the amount of pain they are in. They begin to laugh, and that's the last thing you hear before you die.
you awaken with Chip Baskets hovering over you. "Rise Pisspockets, and stop the Joker" he says. "Don't worry, all of this was just a very elaborate dream."
You wake up in a walk in freezer and step outside to see that it's police custody. There has been a massive raid on the entire damn clown village.
> You sneak past the police lines and head to the Joker's headquarters.
The police are guarding the path, but they aren't expecting you to come from that way. You slip around them and head towards the forest.
you sneak into the Joker's headquarters and encounter him on a catwalk above Vats of Clum,the secret Ingredient to KFC Chicken. "Ah, I've been waiting for you." The Joker says. "I can explain all of this. It was the Riddler's idea, not mine."
you say "I've got a joke for you. What do you call a guy with lungs full of Clum? The Joker!" as you shove the Joker off the catwalk and he sinks slowly into the Clum.
"That was low." The Joker says. "Even for a joke, that was pretty pathetic."
> You go to the Joker's funeral, and piss in his pocket.
The funeral is a nice touch. You see the deceased encased in a glass box, which is then placed in the center of the Clown Village.
The moral of the story: If you're going to kill a man, make sure he's dead.
The police once again surround you and arrest you for the murder of the Joker.