EP311 #3

Posted under EP311 #3, Story On By Chief

You are a hot girl, one of four survivors of a massive seagull attack. After the attack, Gullies, a seagull themed fast food restaurant opens up and gets rich off selling gull meat burgers. A few days after the opening night, you hear about news reports of seagull-human zombie creatures on the rampage. You grab the nearest anti seagull weapon, a shotgun.

The next day, you head to the fast food place where you see dozens of people eating at the time.
> You try to warm everyone that the burgers are turning people into seagull-humam zombies!!!
You run over to the counter and start trying to warm everyone that is there with their burger. The manager comes out from behind it and tries to stop you, but you easily knock him down.
you fire a shot into the ceiling to scare everyone out of the restaurant. You then fire at the large " OPEN " sign on the door. Before long everyone is running out the front door or hiding, while you are still firing at the sign.
" Start the first one!!!"
The customers flee the store and run right into a roving pack of seagull-human zombies. You see a few get picked off, but you know you have to act fast.
You grab a fry-cook and start shoving the fries into his gaping mouth, cramming as many in as you can.
> You quickly explain to him how this is helping.
You shove the rest of the fries in his mouth and cram as many in as you can. You then pull his hair back over his eyes to blind him.
> You kiss the fry cool on the cheek before stuffing dynamite in his pants and then pushing him into the pack of zombies.
You pull out a roll of dynamite and shove about 10 sticks of dynamite into the fry cooks pants. You stuff two more sticks into the top of his shirt and two more into the belt of his pants.
you run frantically away as you hear the fry cook mutter "I loved you" as he explodes in a mushroom cloud of fry bits and seagull-zombie chunks.
You loot the now empty store for any edible supplies you can find.
You make yourself a vegan treat that is safe to eat and watch the sunset.
You have survived.
You now have a clear path to Gullies, the city is pretty much cleared out.
you look over at a television playing the news. the newscasters says "100 new gullies chains have opened around the US."
You grab some food and you are ready to head to Gullies.
The moral of the story: If it's fried and covered with sugar, it's probably safe to eat.