EP311 #1

Posted under EP311 #1, Story On By Chief

You are Hans Erikson, a Swedish lawyer representing AIPD as they're are being sued by ReinDr0b for using his life story in the AIPD streams without Dr ReinDr0bs permission. You've been here since before you were hired and have done everything that was asked of you. Now it's time to see if your skills will be rewarded or not.
> You head to the courthouse with papers in hand.
You walk out of the office and find yourself at the door to the courthouse. The building is large, but not intimidating.
The trial begins and you are about to bring in your first witness: your old college roommate.
"Call Keith O'Neill, he can speak about the relevant facts." Mike calls out.
You give the floor to Miles Edgeworth, Chief Prosecutor, and allow him to cross examine.  Mike the Judge allows this.
"Now Mr O'Neill, can you tell us what happened?"
"We were roommates in college."
"What year was this?"
"And what year did you graduate college?"
> You say "Objection!"
"Excuse me, Mr Edgeworth, but did you actually just question the witness?"
"I did, Your Honor."
Hmmm... I can see this going one of two ways....
> You say " Mr. Reindrob, I'm afraid you don't really have much of a case"
"Well Your Honor, with the court's permission I would like to make my case right now."
"Very well, but be quick about it."
With this, Dr. Redrob stands up and begins to talk.
The cast of AIPD bursts into the courtroom!  The audience gasps in surprise!
They begin arguing the trial is unfair and it should be thrown out! The judge looks unimpressed.
"Shut up!" He says, before addressing the courtroom.
You can see that you've done nothing but agitate the Judge, so you decide to break the ice with a joke:
"Is this seat taken? Because if it isn't, I have a twin brother who is a twin late from cancer treatment."
> You say "That's the joke!"
"I'm sorry Mr. Hunt, I actually was trying to be funny myself when I asked you that question, please continue..."
"Well Your Honor, it was just a joke. The defense rests."
> You sit down on a whoopie cushion.
"So, what's the sentence?" You ask the Judge.
"The court finds in favor of the defense and dismisses the case for lack of evidence."
you celebrate by pushing a button that releases 18,000 letters, all addressed to Santa Claus. You look at Mike the judge in anticipation.
"Now, what's going to happen..."
The courtroom is cleared as every letter is released at once. The room is full of flying confetti. You take another look at Mike, still no reaction.
You tell Mike the best joke you've ever heard:
"Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!"
You burst out laughing when you finally get it. Mike just sighs and shakes his head.
You see a pile of baby vomit on the way out of the courtroom and slip and fall in a hilarious fashion.  You quickly look toward's Mike to see if he is laughing. He is, but he turns away.
Finally, you take a look at the pile of vomit on the ground.
"To the other fucking side!" You shout.
> You hold a press conference on the courthouse steps.
There you are on the courthouse steps with Mike the Judge and other members of the press.
"Thanks for coming out everyone, I really appreciate it." Mike says, and then turns his attention to you.
You give a victory speech to the press:
"Now, before we start I have one condition. No one says anything about the snowman that was here. Thanks again for coming out everyone. I'll see you next year, same time, same channel."
The moral of the story: Don't mess with an AIPD member's snowman.