EP309 #2

Posted under EP309 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Garfield the cat, an omnipotent God-emperor with powers to create anything. You decide to create universe designed for all your needs. On the first day you didn't create anything, because it was Monday. And you hate Mondays. On the second day you create the holy lasagna. On the third day you create the world's largest hamburger. By the end of week three you have created a universe that is not only filled with food but also life and love.
> You say "I Require Lasagna Jon, the universe depends on it Jon"
You stare at Jon in disbelief as he begins to eat his lasagna.

Jon: I'm sorry, but this is my lasagna. It's my creation and I will do what I want with it!
you grasp the lasagna from Jon and prepare to smote him.
Jon: Hold on, I can solve this! Just like I solved the lasagna problem!
Jon goes into a dance routine and you find yourself laughing uncontrollably.
> You jon slips on a piece of lasagna and hits his head on the floor.
You watch in horror as Jon becomes disorientated and slips sideways, hitting his head against the ground.
"Noooo!" you scream as you drop to your knees and go to Jon.
> You cradle his head in your paws and beg him to stay alive.
Jon: Geez, you're taking this really hard. But you have to know. I was only doing what was best for the series!
> You say "Dammit, Jon, don't be so meta!"
Jon: Huh, didn't know I was.
you look over to see Otie is eating some of Jon's leaked out brains. You plug the head hole with lasagna.
Jon: Aww! You're being caring right now? I thought you just did it because you were mad and instinct took over.
> You say "I love you"
Jon: Then you must be a really swell guy. Speaking of which, how are you going to continue dealing with your evil twin?
you turn to see a large mass of orange and black fur, Gorefield stands before you. He looks at Jon's body and lets out a roar.
"I'll give you one guess who think it was." Otie says.
Just then, Otie is picked up by Gorefield and eaten. You let out a roar and charge at him. You begin to feel extremely tired, however.

You tackle the massive werewolf with incredible force, but you feel weight of its body crushing you.
you think all is lost as Gorefield lumbers closer when Nermal jumps upon Gorefield and begins to claw him.
You grab Nermal and bite Nermal's tail. You can't see it, but you think you can feel the bones in his tail breaking.
Suddenly a group of animal rights activists break into the house and see you and Nermal tearing apart the werewolf.
A miniture woman with red hair and large binoculars points at you and says "Oh my god! They're eating the werewolf!"
The miniature woman pulls you and Nermal off of Gorefield and yells "you cant hurt this beautiful creature." She begins to take pictures and you notice she has the same large glasses as the otter.
> You pull the mask of the woman's face, revealing her as an otter!
The otter pulls off the mask and reveals a human face and huge nerd glasses.
"I'm Heather" she squeaks.
Heather begins to explain herself when Gorefield gets Hangry. He begins to howl and start towards you.
"We're dead" Otie says.
Gorefield's mouth expands and swallows you, Nermal, and Heather whole.  You see Otie and try to figure a way out. An orange and black fireball shoots out of the other end of the tunnel.
the ball slams into Gorefield and he vomits everyone up. Everyone begins to vomit out gas and liquid.

As your lungs fill with toxic smoke, you see a giant claw grab Otie and pull him closer to the inferno below.
The moral of the story: You should avoid eating lasagnas from strangers