EP308 #3

Posted under EP308 #3, Story On By Chief

You wake up late for work, You're in a white room. Suddenly a blaring alarm starts up saying you need to get to the office as soon as possible!
you eat breakfast in the shower, and shave while you drive to work. You swerve in and out of traffic. The morning rush is already over by the time you arrive at your office. You quickly open up your computer and start checking your email. Your boss has left a message on your phone that he wants to see you right away.
You head into your bosses office, despite really needing to go to the bathroom.  Your boss gives you a present: a laser codpiece.  He says, "This is for your perfect attendance!" You thank him and run off to the bathroom. When you come back, you see your boss already on the phone. He hands you the phone, and tells you to speak slowly as he doesn't understand American English.
The voice on the phone tells you to use the boss' private piss trough.  "No," you say. The voice on the phone tells you that using the boss equals death.
You say, "I told you not to fuck me!" and hang up the phone.
Your boss asks, "What happened?"
You reply, "He told me to use the pee-hole."
He replies, "You have to do what he says."
> You use the piss trough, staring your boss in the eye the whole time.
You use the piss trough. As you stare at him, you notice he has a few cuts on his face. "You have to be careful about who you fuck" you say. He nods.
Cory, an employee who came to work in a towel because it's Casual Friday. He waves at you.  You wonder why there are so many people in the boss's private bathroom today. Suddenly, the alarm starts blaring. A massive explosion is heard from inside the office. The boss races out of his office and into the bathroom.
> You hear an explosion of a different coming from the bathroom.
The door to the bathroom is partially open. You see a bunch of papers from the bathroom, mixed in with the papers on your desk. You grab them and start reading through them.
You see the paper is titled: "HOW TO TRICK MY HOTTEST EMPLOYEES TO GET NAKED: ATTEMPT #1 - EXPLOSIONS".  You confront your boss about this. He says, "Fuck, I gotta go. I'm late. See ya!" He runs out of the office.
> You chase your boss into the parking garage.
You run after the boss. He runs out of the garage and into an alley. You ask him, "What the hell is going on? Did you set off a bomb in the bathroom?
He ignores you and runs into an alley. You follow him. Suddenly, he punches you, knocking you down.
Cory rushes to your side and wraps his only towel around your boss. You sit there with a bloody nose. "I have to get this to the ER; it's broken." You nod. He rushes into the bathroom and runs into the parking garage with the towel-covered bundle.
You have to have plastic surgery to fix your nose and it makes you the most handsome you've ever looked.  As you wakeup from surgery, you explain everything that happened to an FBI investigator who tells you that your "Boss" is actually a international con man. The explosion was the FBI's attempt to take him into custody.
The FBI uses this information to track the boss, who is found guilty and executed for his crimes. You and your family become very rich.
The moral of the story: "Don't piss off the FBI."