You are Collins, a guy who is taking an IQ test to prove his intelligence. You take the test and are surprised by how low your score is. You got a score of 50.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think you're smart enough to pass this test." The teacher says. "But it's not too late for you to change your answer."
> You offer her a bribe to increase your score.
"What do you want me to pay?" You ask.
"Just one dollar," She replies.
"One dollar? What for?"
"For being so stupid as to choose the wrong answer."
You pay one dollar for a passing grade. The teacher takes your money and enters it into a till. She then hands you the test with a smile on her face.
"Have a nice day now."
> You look at the test and see some of the answers are already filled in.
You are in a room with several doors. There is a single chair which you may sit in if you would like.
you proclaim "I WILL STAND!" and sit down into the seat the chair.
You look at the test and see several multiple-choice questions. You need to select the best answer.
"I will kill you!" You hear a voice exclaim.
> You say "Who said that?"
"I did." You hear a voice reply.
"Who are you?" You ask.
"It doesn't matter who I am, what matters is you need to die!"
You turn around and see it is Jeff Dum-Dum, a guy who got a -23983 Score on his IQ test.
He runs at you with a knife.
"I will slaughter you!" He says while approaching towards you.
> You tell him today is opposite and he stabs himself.
Dum-Dum turns around and touches his chest.
"What did you just do to me?" He asks.
> You see a knife sticking out of his chest.
"I just stuck a knife into your chest, and you're asking me what I did?"
"It's an opposite day, so I must've done something different."
you tell Dum-Dum to pull out the knife, but its opposite day, so he can't.
"Why are you so angry?" He asks.
"I want you to take the knife out of my friend's chest."
> You push the knife all the way through Jeff.
"I don't understand, why did you kill me?" He asks once he's dead.
"It's opposite day, so you must be killed."
You pull out the knife and step back.
> You read the first multiple choice question on the test.
You are in a room with several doors. There is a single chair which you may sit in if you would like.
you proclaim "I WILL STAND!" and sit down into the seat the chair.
> You approach the teacher and tell her, "I ate the test."
"So what?" The teacher asks.
"Well, I'm just confused on what to do," you reply.
The teacher tells you "A replacement test is gonna cost you a lot"
"Are you gonna be my new teacher?" You ask.
She looks at you, and begins laughing.
"I'm not your teacher," She replies before walking away.
You realize the IQ test was actually a scam to take advantage of stupid people. But now you're in a worse situation.
You are a stupid person, so you have no idea what to do. You try to find the exit door, but there's not even an indication of where it is.
You hire a service dog with an IQ of 200 to take the next test for you. You are so grateful.
You are in a room with several doors. There is a single chair which you may sit in if you would like to take the test.
The dog passes the test with flying colors. You don't kill him.
You leave the building, climbing over walls to escape.
You make it home and can't wait to tell your family about the scam.
> You your family asks where the dog is.
You tell your mom that the dog is asleep on the couch. She goes to pet him, but notices the knife stuck in his chest.
"Oh no," She says.
"Why?" You ask.
"The dog is dead."
"What? No he's not," You reply.
"He's been dead for 20 minutes!"
The moral of the story: Don't trust dogs to take tests for you, they always die.
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