EP303 #2

Posted under EP303 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Snuffit, a large dog who cannot be reasoned with. You hate all living things, but love food and getting petted. However, if you are petted even slightly wrong, you will do everything in your power to fuck up that person's day. Today is your annual checkup at the vet.

The receptionist informs you that your physical condition is excellent, and she would like to see you again today. She says it is very important for you to get checked out because of recent events.
> You ask to see the vetrinarian.
"I want to see the veternarian."

The receptionist looks surprised by this request. "Um... I'm afraid we don't have one right now. We only take patients on an as needed basis."
This makes you angry. You begin barking and growling at the poor woman.
> You lift your leg and pee on her desk.
Due to your heavy panting, the entire office reeks of your scent, and the puddle you have made begins to grow. Several visiting office workers begin complaining about being uncomfortable.
You demand to be compensated for your wasted time and are given the briefcase from reservoir dogs.
"There are two keys in the top pocket. Please take them back to whoever they belong to."
Once you have the keys, you turn to leave.
You hear the receptionist mutter under her breath, "Bad dog."
You stop and bark. "Damn right I'm a bad dog."
Finally, you depart this place of ill repute.
> You take the briefcase to a pawnshop.
When you get to the pawnshop, it isn't much to look at, but the sheriff says it's solid.
The pawn shop owner manages to get the briefcase open and inside you are amazed to see a large sum of money. It looks as if the contents of the briefcase have been replaced with a different type of material.
The pawn shop owner takes note of this and begins to examine the outside more closely.
The pawnshop owner tells you the briefcase is made out of dog leather.  You try to explain that it feels different from the inside, but he doesn't seem impressed.
He seems to believe you've been put here to steal the money and begins speaking about a reality show called Hot or Not.
The pawn shop owner is making you angry. You throw a fit and begin to accuse him of being part of the theft. He seems amused by this and keeps his composure.
Just when you think he is getting off track, he begins talking about the two keys you have in your possession. He says, "They probably open up some sort of safe deposit box where they keep the money the gang stole."
At this point you can't take it anymore and realize that the pawn shop owner is not your enemy.
You team up with the Pawn Shop owner to track down the remainder of this dirty money.  You head to bank and use your keys to open the safety deposit box and discover the boxes contained quite a few stacks of hundred dollar bills.
You and the pawn shop owner count the money and re-gather it into the briefcase.
You tell the pawn shop owner that you want to pawn the money.  He agrees and you gather a few other pieces of stolen property to make up the value.
You get a pretty good price for the money and decide to use it to pay off the debt on the horse you got.
you try to enter your horse in the derby.
The Pawn Shop owner gets quite a few comments from customers. One lady even approaches him to ask for his autograph.
You are so proud of your accomplishment.
> You give the horse the following name:.
You've been riding this horse a lot lately and thinking about its name.
You decide that the horse should be called "Firefly".
The Sheriff is impressed with this choice.
You put all $50 on Firefly and watch the race excitedly.  The winner of the horse race:
You drive back home with your new prize.
The next morning, you get up and prepare to play with the dog you got the night before.
you name your dog "Flame" because he is a "red hot beauty", the Sheriff comes to see you.
"Hey I won a big pot last night, I'll share the cut with you if you help me stake my horse", he says.
You agree and head to the track to do some gambling.
You bet all of the Sheriff's money on Firefly. You win big and tell him to meet you at the bar in the hotel for a drink.
You drive over to the hotel and get your drink.
> You the Sheriff pets you the wrong way.
You arrive at the bar and see the Sheriff. He gives you a giant grin.
"I won big boy! I'll have the drink now", he says.
You drink liquor out of a dog bowl and have a great night. The next morning you wake up and realize your horse beat every other one to win the derby.
You give Sheriff a friendly punch on the arm and get on your way.
The moral of the story:
Never bet on a horse named "Firefly"