EP301 #3

Posted under EP301 #3, Story On By Chief

Your name is William Willows, you are a twenty five year old slayer working under the alias of Shinobi for the slayer network. Slayers are assassins who stream their killings in order to earn subscribers to work their way up the ranks with the ultimate goal of being the most watched slayer on the network. Tonight, your target is Dr. Reindrob - an eccentric scientist working out of an old run down lab. You grab your trusty katana, white clash, and make your way to Reindrob's lab.

You walk into the room and see a man slumped over his desk surrounded by various chemicals and test tubes. He looks up at you as he sees you enter. "Hello," he says.
You see it's Jimmy Buff-it , all slayer all the time. He walks forward and grabs Reindrob's hand. "Hi, I'm Jimmy."
"Glad to meet you," Reindrob replies.
"So what brings you here?
> You challenge Jimmy Buff-it to rock, paper, sciccors to decide who will take the bounty.
"I need someone to help me with a top secret project," he says.
"Hmmm... sure, I'll help," you say.
"So... what's this top secret project?"
you explain to Jimmy that two slayers is better than one. Jimmy thinks it over and agrees. You two start menicingly walking towards the doctor when through a window bursts Jason, a detective who wants to arrest the slayers. Jason yells "Freeze assfaces" and fires his gun.
You both run and Jimmy grabs you, throwing you over a shoulder. You grab your sword and take a swing at the detective.
> You strike detective Jason with your sword and discover he is made of pure robotanium.
Your sword cuts through the metal of the robot-detective, but leaves him still alive and able to shoot at you.
You position yourself between Jason and Dr Reindrob in hopes that he accidentally shoots him.
"Stop it! Put him down!" Dr. Reindrob yells.
"Fuck! I knew this fucker was too perfect to be human!" Jason sneers.
you tear off your human skin to reveal metal musculature and titanium mega-bones. You grab a machine gun from the robot-detective's belt.
"Oh, fuck!" you hear yourself say in a high pitched voice.
You turn and begin shooting at the slayers.
as you fire indiscriminately you scream "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"
Jason reaches the top of the stairs and begins to fall back down them. at the same time you notice a girl who looks about your age standing in the doorway. she looks terrified. "Hello," she says.
Everyone stops fighting and turns to look at the girl in surprise.
Isabella is her name.
She walks forward, back far away from you, she seems unsure.
"You've killed my friends," she says sadly.
> You see her draw her serrated hoola hoop weapons.
You see the girl, Isabella, pull out two large hoola hoops. They're serrated on one side and perfect on the other; perfect for slicing through flesh and bone.
> You say "Shut up, Kessle!"
"Kessle?" you say.
"My mother made me take it..." Kessel says, trailing off.
She begins to spin the hoola hoops in front of her.
Isabella fires her hoola hoops at you but Jimmy Buff-it jumps in the way. You use this one chance to strike Isabella down. You raise your gun and point it at her.
"Goodbye, Isabella."
You pull the trigger and as blood spurts from her chest you see Kessel burst into tears.
> You yell "shut up kessell!" as you see Reindrob escape through a portal.
"Shut up, Kessel," you growl as you turn to the portal.
As you run ahead to the portal, Mr Reindrob appears.
You look around to see you have been transported to a far away, yet familiar place: Same grey landscape, same circle of rocks.
"This is one of my favorite places," Mr Reindrob says, smiling. "It's where we first met."
The moral of the story: Never talk to strange men in grey cloaks who take a shine to you. The end.