EP294 #3

Posted under EP294 #3, Story On By Chief

You are Martin Jackson, well sort of. After the hive mind of nano rats known as officer Cory detonated themselves, your body was destroyed. All you wanted to do was live out your days as a completely inconspicuous, normal person that just so happened to be interested in the construction of bombs, but then that damn hive mind of nano rats had to fuck it all up. While your corpse rotted away in your apartment a lone rat wandered in feeding off of both your and officer Cory's corpse. through a fusion of your DNA and the nanotech in officer Cory's rats, your conscience has been revived, albeit within the body of a single rat. Not long after attaining your bearings within your new rodent body, you've discovered that you can absorb other rats into your own hive mind. You've amassed a small group of about ten rats, but you need more. What for? You need them because you're going to start killing people, and they need to get out of here before you kill them all.
you head to the most rat-infested place you can think of, The Olive Garden.
The Olive Garden is an old diner with a lot of history. It was originally owned by a man named John Gotti who was killed by some rival mobsters while trying to protect his daughter from being kidnapped.
you go to the dumpster and cant believe how many rats you find. you look around and see hundreds of them. some as big as cats.
As you absorb the rats into your Rat King, you see the Crystal of power, which you pick up.
A flood of images assault your mind. John Gottis' daughter, a beautiful italian woman who was an ex-secret service agent.
After absorbing all the rats and picking up the crystal, you gain 100 lbs and level up to gain the following Rat King powers:
All your stats increase by 2. You gain 3 additional skill points. You can command all rats within a 10 foot radius to do your bidding and communicate with them through a hive mind.
The way forward is clear.
You enter the Olive Garden where John Gotti is sitting at the best table.  It is packed and there is a long line.  You walk in and demand a table for 50 immediately.  John Gotti intervenes and tells you he's having a private party, you insist you join.
You quickly become annoyed with him stalling so you kill him with your shotgun while demanding to be sat.
> You hold up your Crystal of Power which impregnates the restaurant hostess.
The hostess screams, everyone looks at you. You yell "Shut up! I just killed the owner so I'm in charge!"
The assistant Manager walks up to you and says "When you're here, you're family. You take your new Title of Rat-Don and wait for other mob bosses to give you gifts and congratulations.
You sit down with a big grin on your face and order a plate of Spaghetti.
the next day...
As you leave the rat king's mansion you see big rats wherever you look.
> You your rat son has been killed in the causeway.
You see your rat son devoured by a hawk while eating your morning breakfast. You now have no living relatives. The rat king has eaten them all.
you order a hit on all hawks.
and so begins your crusade.
you start to kill your enemies one by one. you can sense where they are, right down to their toe nails.
You meet with their leader, Tony Hawk, who wants peace about the rats and hawks.
"What do you think?"
"I think I'll destroy your entire bloodline."
You kill him and all of his followers except one. You keep her alive and plan to eat her later.
> You have dinner with her at Olive Garden.
After a wonderful dinner at Olive garden you see a mouse run across the kitchen. You're hungry so you eat it.
The waitress walks up to you and you tell her, "It's my birthday..."  as you blow out the candle in your mouth. She gives you a big smile.
She sits down at you table, and you don't know it yet but she's actually a vampire.
The waitress dawns her fangs and before you know it she has started to drink your rat blood.
It's delicious.
You look down and realize that you've turned into a rat!
"AHHHHH! AHHHHHH!" you scream.
The vampire laughs as she turns into a hawk and flies away.
you vow revenge on Dawn.
Year 80
After years of waiting, the day has finally come.
You sit and watch TV as Dawn babbles on about her plans to take over the city.
Then it happens.
The moral of the story: You're a rat in a cage.
Year 100
You sit around all day plotting the destruction of the world.