EP293 #3

Posted under EP293 #3, Story On By Chief

You are Martin Jackson, a man with a strange condition. You are a kind and caring person who would never harm a fly. However, ever since birth you have felt compelled to do everything as suspiciously as possible. You have the following six errands to run:

1) Go to the local library and look up how to make a bomb out of some common household items.

2) Go to the local grocery store and buy a can of gasoline, a lighter, an empty bottle of rubbing alcohol and two pieces of cotton balls. Then go back home and put them in your pocket.

3) Go to the local drugstore and get a box of matches, a roll of toilet paper and a small piece of string. Then go back home and tie one end of each item to yourself.
4) Go to the gas station where you work and draw money out of your paycheck. Then go back home and put it in your left pocket. (There is $120).
5) Go to the local shooting range and go to the back area where you can fire a gun at targets for a small fee (about $5). When there, fire at the two targets that are far away a few times.

6) Go to a bar nearby and order yourself a drink. Drink it down quickly.
At this point, you have all the items and you know what to do next. Good luck.
you begin your master plan.
The next morning, you wake to the rumbles of an oncoming diesel semi truck repeatedly honking it's horn. You hop into your car and head to the local library. You have no idea what a bomb is made of or how to build one, so you start looking for information in general.
> You enter the library and ask the librarian for bomb making books.
You explain to the librarian your strange situation as she stares in disbelief. She informs you that you must be high on some illegal substance, but agrees to help you.
you begin spooling through some anarchist books when Officer Rat Cory, who was given reports that you where doing very suspicious things, ask you what you're doing. You explain to him your situation, but he doesn't believe you. You inform him that it would be in his best interest to leave.
You blow a kiss at Officer Rat Cory and wink as you exit the library.
You head to the local drugstore and make suspicious purchase.  The cashier says to you: "There are no drugs that can do the things you're talking about. Here's your change."
You count the money as you leave and head back to your house.
You take your change and go to the shooting range. You fire at the two targets that are far away a few times.
You reload and head to the bar.
You enter the bar. You immediately order a drink. You down it and order another.
You reach to pay for your drink, but you forgot to go to the gas station to collect your paycheck!  You tell the bartender, "I'm afraid I don't have any money to pay for this drink."
The Bartender says "That's O.K. It's on me" and he pours you another drink.
You order another and before you know it, you're wasted and having a great time.
Officer Cory enters the bar. You know you have to drive home, but you're not sure if you should. You get up and stumble towards the door.
You pull out your keys and get into your car. He's on a power trip and decides to mess with you.
You walk up to Officer Cory and you pull out your list of 10 places you definitely aren't going to blow up: the library, the drug store, the grocery store...
"May I see that list for a second?"
You hand him the paper and he takes out his own pen and X's out grocery store.
"Thanks for the tip. I'm glad you're taking this seriously. Have a nice day." He says with a wink.
You get in your car and pull out of the parking lot.
you drive home intoxicated. You're lucky you made it home alive.
You wake up the next morning, hung over and in pain. You have no recollection of how you even made it home.
> You roll over and see someone next to you in bed.
You have no memory of even going out last night, but then again you can't really remember much from the past few days.
You must have been way drunk last night if you ended up bringing someone home.
You hear the toilet flush and see Officer Cory walk out in his boxer's with a homemade bomb strapped to his body.  He has another one strapped to his chest. He pulls out a third bomb and puts it in his pocket.
"I'm really sorry about all this" he says as he pulls the trigger, blowing himself up.
The explosion is deafening. The ceiling and walls cave in and you're killed instantly.
> You say "Dang. you knew that cop seemed suspicious" "
You say "Dang. you knew that cop seemed suspicious" Correct!
You've escaped death once again.
> You say "Tony, a guy who hires you to blow up Jeremy Renner's house, walks into your exploded bedroom and says, "I see you do good work."
How do you respond?
You scream "I'm going to kill you! I'm going to kill you! I promise I'm going to kill you!" at the sky.
"Yeah, sounds about right."
The moral of the story:
You hear a knock on your door.
"Three Mississippi, two Missouri, one Wisconsin."
You have no idea what that means but you open the door anyway.
"Hello, Mr. Matheny. I'm Doctor Westfield and this is my associate Mr. O'Connor. We work for the ATF and we've come to ask you a few questions."