EP292 #1

Posted under EP292 #1, Story On By Chief

You are Mr. Cakes, a guy who is addicted to eating cakes. One day, you are invited to your nephew and niece's birthday party. You eat both of their cakes.

The next morning, you wake up in the hospital with no memory of how you got there.
> You look at your chart to find out what happened to you.

You awaken from your coma... and see that you have been transformed into a cake! You are now Mr. Cake, a guy who is addicted to eating cakes.
You put your cakes hands on the hospital walls, and find out they are also made of cake.  You can't help yourself and begin to consume the cake hospital. After taking a bite out of the wall, you notice something else.
You are not alone in this room. You hear growls coming from the other side of the door.
You open the door and see a large creature made out of cake. You realize that this must be your sister's dog, and she must be looking for him.
You hide in the hospital corner, waiting for the dog to leave.
> You hide behind a filing cabinet as you hear the cake dog sniffing.
You hear him sniffing around the room, but he never finds you behind the cabinet. As soon as the coast is clear, you head out of the hospital to try and find your way home.
You look behind and see Clifford, you sisters giant red dog now made of red velvet cake, sprinting towards you.
You look around and find that you are surrounded by cake creatures.
You begin to run from them, but you soon find yourself surrounded. They slowly approach you.
You see a large milk waterfall, you start to drink and prepare to eat all of the cake creatures that try to attack you.
You feel full and realize that you have escaped the cake creatures. You reach your home and see that someone has broken in.
You enter your living room and see Dr. Ron Jeremy sitting on the couch motioning you to sit down.
"What the fuck do you want" you ask.
He replies "Your sister is in danger." and begins to laugh.
You don't know whether he is serious or fucking with you.
> You waterboard Ron Jeremy with frosting until he tells you the problem with your sister.
You grab a cup of water and begin to slowly pour it down his throat as he screams in agony. After five minutes, he finally begins to talk... but he's laughing.
> You ron Jeremy tells you that your sister.
He begins to laugh as you look at him in disgust. You grab your gun and shoot Dr. Ron in the kneecaps.
> You slap his ugly face a little bit until he reveals what happened to your sister.
You slap him around a little and he realizes that you are not fucking around.
"Your sister went to have sex with Dequince " The Hedgehog " Jones."
You look at him, confused.
You hear the toilet flush and Dr. Stormy Daniels walks out. You slap him once more and head to his room to wait for your sister.
"Hey, sugar tits." She greets you.
You stare at her as she walks by. She notices and says "What?".
> You see your sister and ask her what the hell is going on.
You pull out your gun and shoot her in the shoulder. She falls to the ground screaming "Noooo! Why did you do that!"
You look at her and back at Dr. Stormy Daniels who is pulling up his pants.
"You ruined my fucking relationship with my sister."
You see your sister on the floor bleeding and realize you fucked up.
> You take some frosting and patch your sister's gunshot wound.
You begin to put frosting on your sister's gunshot wound but she screams in more pain. You realize that this is not working out so well, so you take her to the hospital.
You look at the doctor and say "Do your thing."
The doctor nods and begins to heal your sister. The hospital costs a lot of money, but your sister makes a full recovery.
The moral of the story: Hospital visits can be expensive.