You are Jim. Your fellow members of the band Squeak-Jazz, are: Tony the insomniac, Jason the Howler, Cory the Fatcap, Sonic the Cheesewedge Hog, and Mario the Headbanger. You all have been playing together for years, but today you will play a show that is going to change your lives forever.
The day has finally come... The Great Northern Ice Storm of '89 has arrived!
You are in a stadium with 50000 Norwegian fans when the power goes out. The lights go out. Then the whole place goes dark.
You light a flare to illuminate the stage and start your greatest hits: The Flintstones Theme, The Imperial March, and Smoke on the Water. What follows is the greatest concert of all time.
You are rocking out when you hear a noise behind you. An emergency door has just opened!
The stadium doors fly open and it is the band Poison that has finally arrived and is ready to headline. They walk out on stage to a stunned crowd and the silence is broken by a young women's voice that screams "Daddy!" It is the daughter of the lead singer.
The doors are about to close and when suddenly a wendigo busts in the stadium, here for the all-you-can-eat buffett.
The sound of your playing chases it away, but the doors close on it and trap it inside with you.
After rocking out for four straight hours, the power comes back on and the emergency lights die out.
The wendigo is now your biggest fan. It begs and pleads with you not to continue, but the crowd wants more. The beast breaks down into tears and runs toward the stage, but instead of attacking you it hangs it's head and begins to cry.
The Wendigo wants to do a duet with you.
The duet goes over so well that instead of seeking to eat you the wendigos become your backing band. You tour the world and live forever.
The moral of the story: Always check your venue for unexpecteddoors.
> You say "You can wendigo fuck yourself!"
The wendigos don't take too kindly to your language and rip you apart before filling themselves with your delicious organs.
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