You are Tony Prime, the Tony from whom all Tony's originate. Everyday you watch the adventures of your other selves over the dimensional television. They usually accomplish nothing, or are taken out by major figures in their adventures unceremoniously, but sometimes they reach greatness.
You are envious; even when they fail, they're doing something, while you just sit here, watching and yawning. As you lament your fate for the umpteenth time, a woman in a purple robe appears.
"Do you you want to go on an adventure?" She says.
You look at her and, after a moment of consideration, you say "Yes."
The woman smiles. "Good choice, my love. I'm sure it will be fun!"
And so begins your life as the Tony from which all others must eventually come.
> You ask the woman if she is single.
"Are you single?" You ask.
She looks down, then up at you with a smile. "No! No I am not!" She says, "I have been married before...
> You ask "Does that mean you're still married?"
She pauses, looking uncomfortable. "I am bound to another," She says, "It's complicated..."
You walk past the woman, and through the main street of the small town.
> You search for the one to whom the woman is bound.
You walk along the broad street, through the town. It doesn't take long for you to find what you're looking for; the woman's husband.
> You you'd recognize those milky thighs anywhere, its Yton Prime, your evil half.
Yton seems to be in the middle of a bank heist. Guns are pointed everywhere, the tellers have their hands in the air, and Yton is calmly looking around for valuables.
> You ask him how his marriage is going.
You walk up to your evil half, who is calm as he looks around, and taps him on the shoulder. He slowly turns around, smiling at you.
You lean in for a kiss with Yton and he opens a portal to a world run entirely by a Teledildonics Kung-fu master. This new world is filled with danger and excitement, and your long romance with Yton can last throughout all of existence. He smiles back, leaning in to kiss you as well.
"You!"
You see Jason Prime, your legal guardian who doesn't approve of your relationship with Yton. He grabs you both by the collar.
"I KNEW you were sneaking around with this criminal!" He yells.
"No, Dad, I swear! We were just kissing a little!" You plead.
> You yell at Jason ' YOU CANT STOP OUR LOVE! YOU'RE NOT MY DAD"
"You can't stop our love!" You yell, "You're not my dad! My dad is dead!"
Your outburst shocks everyone into silence, you father included.
The woman in the purple robe enters. She realizes Yton is cheating on her with you. Her eyes widen in shock. She pulls out a gun, and shoots Yton.
"Noooo!" You yell, as Yton writhes on the ground in pain.
You ask the purple robe woman out of a date. She agrees.
The story ends here.
You've reached the end of this path. Good luck choosing a new one!
You lead the purple robed woman to your bedroom. Her name is Cirra, and she has come to be your... whatever it is that you are to each other.
You live a life of luxury in her large estate.
> You propose to Cirra by having "will you marry me" engraved into your ass hair.
Cirra agrees to marry you. You are married on the top of a large sand dune, which Cirra's estate staff have decorated with flowers.
Your wedding is interrupted by the sand worm from "Dune".
You and Cirra die, eaten by the sand worm.
The story ends here.
You've reached the end of this path. Good luck choosing a new one!
The moral of the story: Don't try to marry a woman whose religion has a sacred book called the Digital Webbing Rag.
Related