EP 516 – Story #3 – Remmy – My name is Remmy.

Posted under Episode 516, Story On By Chief

My name is Remmy. That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion.
 I can't get no satisfaction because the world just ain't made for us to have fun. I'm a rock and roll girl trapped in a hard place; that's me on the verge of tears.
"Come on, honey. You can do better than this," sings the man behind the mic. He turns back around to his guitar. "We're looking for real talent here." He takes a drink from his bottle.

You continue to sing choruses from various popular songs:

 "Wish I Was a Punk Rocker," "She's a Mod Queen," "I Wanna Be Sedated." No one applauds or cheers you on. They all sit with their arms crossed and scowl at you.

A large woman stands up from the crowd and points at you yelling, "SONG THIEF!"

You stop singing immediately.
"That was horrible! You know it, everybody knows it." The large woman walks over to you and pushes you up against a wall, where she leans in close to your ear.

She whispers a threatening request to hear her favorite song:

 "Come On And Take This, Baby." She rubs her hand against yours. "I'm in the mood for some good sex. Are you in the mood for some good sex?"
You tell her to go to hell.

You lean in for a kiss.

It doesn't feel like your tongue is getting anywhere near hers. It feels more like she's trying to lick her way down your face and throat. Her tongue is rough and scratchy. You pull back immediately.

> You say "I don't care about your sexual preferences; just shut up and die quietly."

She grunts and shoves you against the wall again, harder this time, and threatens to break both of your arms if you won't take her request.
"This is what I want," she says.

You are sweating profusely, but agree. You say, "This one goes out to the one I love."

Your voice breaks on the last word.
"Now sing it for me, baby," she demands.
The song begins to play as the band picks up speed. The song ends and a long, drawn-out applause breaks out from the crowd.

A man in an all white suit appears from backstage and offers you a million dollar offer to perform on AIPD.

You decline the offer.
He smiles at you and gives you his card. "Call me when you get back."
You look back to the stage with your eyes brimming with tears.
"I don't believe that I have found my soul mate.
 My heart is breaking even though you're not here with me. I can't hold back these feelings deep inside. They don't stop no matter how much I try."
The crowd cheers enthusiastically as the band launches into "I Wanna Be Sedated."

You scream into the microphone, "I'll only perform on AIPD if they give me five million dollars!"

The audience erupts into a wild cheer.
The band stops playing, the lights dim, and a man in a long white suit comes out from behind the curtain holding a stack of cash. He hands you the money and says, "Five million."

You abruptly end the show early and leave to go play live on AIPD's show.

You enter a building through the back door.
You are standing in an alley. It is empty except for a trashcan and a wooden bench. You sit down on the bench and look around.

You see a Go Pro is recording and the man in the white suit tells you to perform. You are concerned, but you play alone in the alley as instructed.

You sing your original song "My Heart Breaks Even Though She's Not Here With Me." The band picks up right where you left off. You get to the end and everyone claps and cheers.

You do an encore and really sing the lyrics to "My Heart Breaks Even Though She's Not Here With Me":

"It breaks even though she's not here with me. I just can't seem to forget you, even when she's right beside me. So come on and take this, baby, 'cause I need some relief from these broken-hearted feelings."

The audience is confused by the wording of the song and things you are giving away babies for free.

"My heart is breaking even though she's not here with me. I can't hold back these feelings deep inside. They don't stop no matter how much I try."
Everyone stops clapping and cheers again, thinking they're hearing it correctly.

The show ends and a long line of desperate women wait for you after the show. They all want a baby.

Your new song becomes very popular, but only if you include a free baby in every performance.
You do not have a million dollars.
You are standing in front of an abandoned building.
This is the back door entrance to an underground nightclub that you frequented once.

You realize you have squandered all of your earnings buying babies on the black market. You realize if you are going to be rich AND famous, you need to start making your own babies.

You go out onto the stage to perform.
It is a large room filled with many people, both men and women.
A man in a suit appears on stage to introduce the band. He tells you that he has been approached by the network to put together a reality show with you.

You agree on the terms that the Network make the show all about you having children. The agree and call the show

 "Making Babies With Brandon".
The first episode shows you finding an egg donor to donate her eggs. The show then follows you and your wife as you search for a surrogate mother to carry the embryos until they are ready to be implanted.
It shows you looking for an adoptive family to raise the child once it is born and how much you love your wife.  It ends with you putting the final touches on a nursery for your newest addition.

You do this for 37 seasons.

You are now a star and you are the most popular person in the world.  Your audience grows every day and they cheer whenever you are seen anywhere, even on television.
You give interviews to news stations across the nation.

The moral of the story:

 Don't let the network control your show. Make it whatever you want!