EP 516 – Story #2 – Rock Johnson – You are Rock Johnson, a hard working programmer at the Unicron Software Company.

Posted under Episode 516, Story On By Chief

You are Rock Johnson, a hard working programmer at the Unicron Software Company. you take a 2 week vacation and have the time of your life. when you get back to work you find that your coworkers rioted and burned the building down

 while you were away. You feel guilty about it.
The morning is foggy, but the air smells fresh. The streets are wet from last night's rain. A few people are out and about early on a Saturday morning.

The lead programmer, The Sex Lizard, sees you on your walk and tells you the state of the project.

 He says that they had to close the project because the code was so horrible, he cannot even understand it. You say that it is only natural given how much of his own money has gone into this thing;
 The Sex Lizard says that "the code will be understood by future generations," then tells you what to do with the floppy disk full of code in your backpack.
You head west, to the beach, and make yourself comfortable under an umbrella.

You throw the floppy disks into the ocean. You are finally going to quit and work on the game you've been daydreaming about for the past 20 years:

 "I Was There When Unicron Destroyed Galvatron" - a video game where you play the role of a fictionalized version of you, fighting through a series of epic battles with Galvatron over who destroyed the other first.

You watch the Transformers TV show for inspiration and notice something that you have never noticed before:

 there are two Galvatrons fighting each other in some episodes, so you write a script where you fight a double dose of the Master of Destruction.
You are standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking a huge valley.

You realize it is going to be a long journey and that you need to assemble a crack team of programmers. You go through your rolodex and find that best programmers in the land:

- Rock Johnson (The Sex Lizard)
- Dr. R.J. (The Shrinking Man)
- Bill (the Inventor)
- Chumlee (the Clueless Geek)
- Red (The Angry Dwarf)
- The White Trash Hero

They all agree and work begins on the game. Months pass and you finally have a working prototype. You have your brother play test it and ask, "How is it? Be honest."

 he replies, "This is awesome!"
Your brother looks at you like you are crazy for a second, then tells you that you were right, it is awesome.
"Let's make this game available to the world," you tell them.

The game is a huge success worldwide. You sell 100 million copies the first weekend. Then you get a lawsuit from the owners of Transformers.

  They accuse you of ripping off their characters, but after a long legal battle, they settle out of court and release you from all claims.
A few months later you go to a costume party dressed as the main character, fighting against an army of Galvatrons.

The Sex Lizard has a panicked look on his face and tell you there is a problem with the game. It causes people who play it to have the following negative side effects:

- People will turn into animals
- People will grow extra limbs and organs
- People will spontaneously combust
The Shrinking Man is the only one who stays normal. He says that this is not a game, this is a dangerous game.

It immediately becomes PR nightmare and the press gives you the terrible nickname of

 "the Mutant Killer."  Everyone starts to panic and rumors of the game start to spread, everyone in town is talking about it.
A week later you are on your way to work when you see a news broadcast where the reporter says that a serial killer called the Mutant Killer is stalking the streets


Protestors surround your office and confront you with stories of loved ones that suffered from your game!

You decide to stop the game production.  You admit what you did, but say that the game was made under duress and you don't feel responsible for the horrible things that people do because of the game.

You receive an offer from EA Games.

  They want to buy Unicron Software Company for their video game division, the EA Games Studio. You agree and they send you and your team to EA HQ in Los Angeles, California to help launch the game.

Right after you sign the deal, you learn the nefarious reason EA Games wanted to acquire you dangerous game:

 they are planning to release an updated version of "I Was There When Unicron Destroyed Galvatron" - the sequel, where you fight against Optimus Prime and the Decepticons.
You refuse the deal and head back to New York to make your own game again.

The CEO of EA Games follows you back to New York and appears in your bedroom late at night to give you a villainous monologue:

 "There is only one thing I care about, and it's money.  Money is my mistress, money is my life, and there is no higher calling than to find new ways to profit from the entertainment of others."

You know exactly what you must do:

 stop the game from being released!
A few days later the FBI shows up at your apartment and arrests you on charges of conspiracy and kidnapping.
The rest is history.  But if you had stopped the game production, then who knows, maybe you would be the hero in the end!