You are the evil Doctor Insaneo. You have just invented Eight Loko. Now you must go through the process of getting your new diabolical beverage approved for sale.It is time to convince your friends and colleagues that your newest concoction should be sold to the public. Your goal: get everyone you know to support your efforts. There are several places where you can start.
> You notice you have some competition: AIPD's beverage which mixes butter and hair gel together in a bucket.The new beverage will be called "Pump It Up!" You have no choice but to take this new drink out on a field trip to show it off, and hopefully, make them see the light.
> You receive a message in a bottle to a strange country called Kickassia.You have been invited to join the gang and compete to become the most popular beverage there. Kickassia has many competitors from all around the world. There is the dark-lord known as Dark Nectar, who drinks it only for the love of power.
> You notice those who ingest the Eight Loko are experiencing the following side effects:- Feeling invincible - The urge to beat up those who disagree with your opinions - The need to knock out people you don't like - The inability to speak coherently (but this could just be because you drank too much) - Feeling that everything you say is true
> You are interrupted when your greatest rival, the power toad, knocks over all your eight loko's on the table."Ach! How clumsy I am!" says the toad. "It is an honor to be here at this conference. May we all enjoy the best of what is to come!" Your toad pal, who looks exactly like you, hands out free samples of "Pump It Up!" You all chug a bunch of the stuff, and immediately feel very powerful. Now that your enemies are helpless, you can take over the world with your newfound power. "My fellow beings," you begin, "we have just conquered the planet Earth.Now it is time for us to move on to other planets and conquer them, too." The toad, who is really you, agrees. You see a big red button. "Push that button and destroy this entire universe," says the toad."Then you will finally be free." "This would be the perfect chance to use the greatest power ever known," you reply. "If I could only defeat the evil Dr. Insaneo and his horrible beverage that will cause mass destruction."
You consume an experimental concoction know as Thirty-Two Loco and in gives you the following power:- The ability to fly through the air (without any wings) - The ability to turn invisible - The power to control gravity - The ability to control matter - The power to turn into a ghost (and make others do your bidding) As you gain more power, youbecome unstoppable. But you don't have time to sit back and enjoy your new powers. You must continue to destroy the universe. The toad, who is actually you, is still standing there, looking dazed and confused."Well... it was fun while it lasted," he says. You press the button. Nothing happens. You look at the red button and notice the words "Not working." You realize that the button is a joke, and everyone at the conference just wanted to see how far they
could push you.
You push the big red button and something finally happens:The universe explodes in a blast of energy and you disappear forever. "Oh crap," says the toad, looking around for another drink.
The toad drinks a random bottle on the table which turned out to be:Pump It Up! "My goodness, what is this?" asks the toad, surprised by its potency. He downs a couple of shots and suddenly transforms into a very different toad.
You watch as the toad transforms intoyour old nemesis, Dr. Insaneo, who looks exactly like you. "What the hell are you doing here?" he says. Your nemesis has just invented an even stronger version of Eight Loko called "Double Down."
You fear the power of "Double Down" and attempt to diffuse the situation by leaning in for a kiss.But your nemesis is not so easily defeated. He quickly pushes you away from him with one hand while holding his flask of "Double Down" with the other. "Ach! How clumsy I am!"
You manage to get close enough to snatch the "Double Down" from his hands and drink it. However combining the "32 Loko" and the "Double Down" has the following
debilitating negative effects:- The desire to have sex with any living creature (excepting yourself) - A compulsion to act stupid and crazy - The urge to beat up those you disagree with - The inability to speak coherently "My, how odd," he says.
You and the toad have an epic battle!Both of you are heavily intoxicated, but it's hard to tell which one of you is more intoxicated. The two of you pummel each other. "Ach! How clumsy I am!""I'm not so clumsy!" You hit the toad with a bottle of "Thirty-Two Loco!" "What the hell is that?" he asks. You both drink the liquid inside the bottle, and instantly become invisible.
You and toad fight for the rest of eternity getting close to punching other, but never actually connecting. You become a tornado of drunk chaos roaming the world and destroying everything in your path as you blindly fight.And the toad, who is actually you, has just invented another new version of Eight Loko known as: Crazy Foam "Oh crap," says the toad, looking around for another drink.
The foam makes toad visible for just one moment, and you unleash your ultimate attack:The Crazy Punch.
It connects and deals a massive blow to toad!The toad becomes a swirling mass of drunkenness which has been given an extra dose of insanity. He can no longer talk, think clearly, or even move on his own. But what will become of the toad, who is actually you?
The moral of the story:Never mess with the guy that invented Thirty-Two Loco! The toad, who is actually you, has just invented the following new beverage: Thirty-Two Loco + Crazy Foam!