EP 507 – Story #2 – Lucky obese woman – You are an obese woman who’s never had any trouble finding a man.

Posted under Episode 507, Story On By Chief

You are an obese woman who's never had any trouble finding a man. In fact, you've been so popular with the opposite sex that you have over 40 boyfriends.
 The problem is, none of these guys seem to really "get" you and you've decided to take matters into your own hands. You're going to start your very own dating service for those men who want something more than just a fling.

You decide to name the dating service:

 "Lust Unlimited".
Your office is in the west wing of a sprawling mansion on a sprawling estate; this house belongs to the wealthy couple whose estate you recently purchased. This is the headquarters of your new dating business, "Lust Unlimited."

Your business is immediately successful and you largest clientele are obese women and

 gay men. When asked about these demographics, you shrug. It doesn't matter if someone likes a certain type of man or woman -- as long as they get some action!
You now run several branches of your new dating service: Lust Unlimited - Boston, Lust Unlimited - Chicago, Lust Unlimited -
 Dallas, Lust Unlimited - New York City and Lust Unlimited - LA.
The success of the business has made you the wealthiest woman in America. Now it's time to expand your empire. With your business doing well, you decide to start an entertainment company to capitalize on the latest trends in pop culture
. The company will produce television shows, music videos, fashion lines and books to cash in on the current media craze. Your first venture is a book series based on the stories you tell people on first dates.

You fall into 40 piles of Cory from AIPD's clothes.

As you try to find your way out of the room, you see that Cory has left some dirty clothes behind.
As you climb the stairs to get back to your office, you see that Cory has left some clothes on your office chair.

You are angry at Cory for being such a slob and so you dedicate one of the stories in your book to be about Cory and his clothes. When the book is released, the story about Cory is a huge success and everyone's favorite.

You now have a successful publishing company under your control. In fact, your new company's name is "Cory Enterprises".
You now have several publishing companies under your control. Cory Enterprises - Publishing Division is responsible for publishing the latest in popular culture.

Cory finds out about this story and you using his name for your personal gain and is outraged. He demands you change the name to

 "The Cory Chronicles".
You are now the most powerful person in the entertainment industry.
Your publishing company now produces the best in popular culture. In fact, you're now such an influential figure that Cory decides to leave the entertainment industry entirely to work as a spokesperson for your company.

You realize that your quest for fame and money has led you to forget about your 40 boyfriends. You check in with them only to find out

 that they're not exactly faithful to you. When asked why they've all abandoned you, each man tells a similar story: "I used to think you were a great catch but then I heard that you were dating over 40 guys."

As more and more of your boyfriends leave you, you realize you need to do something to replace them. You create a reality tv show to hold auditions to be in your new harem of men dating circle. The show is called

 "The Most Beautiful Man in the World" and it becomes a huge hit.
As the show takes off, so does your fame and fortune.
In order to stay on top, you keep churning out more reality shows -- some good, some bad and some downright terrible

:

 "The Most Ugly People in the World", "The Most Talented Person in the World" and "The Most Dangerous Animal in the World".
To get the word out about your shows, you start creating publicity stunts.
 In one of your latest publicity stunts, you run around the city with a gorilla in tow to promote your show "The Most Dangerous Animal in the World".

The gorilla stunt goes horribly wrong when

 Cory comes down to New York City to help promote "The Most Dangerous Animal in the World" and is attacked by the gorilla. He's dragged into Central Park and beaten unconscious before he can be rescued.

The only way Cory can survive the ordeal is if you kill the gorilla, who is named

 "Big Joe". You agree to do this and prepare to kill Big Joe, but Cory stops you.
Cory wants you to allow him to adopt the gorilla instead and bring him back to his mansion in Boston.

Big Joe and Cory learn to live together in the mansion without killing each other. You decide to secretly install cameras in their mansion and release the show as

 "Crazy Gorilla Housewives".
This show becomes a huge hit as it documents the life of Cory's gorilla Big Joe and his family.
Big Joe is an animal lover and doesn't like killing, but he has no choice;
 there are too many dangerous animals at Cory's estate. Cory now feels guilty for putting Big Joe in such a terrible situation and so he agrees to pay the zoo to let him adopt Big Joe.
Big Joe leaves the mansion with Cory to join the rest of his family at the zoo where they will
 be safe from any harm.
You have become one of America's most influential celebrities and Cory is your biggest fan. He wants to meet you, so he asks his friends to help arrange a private dinner between the two of you.

The moral of the story:

 don't go on dates with guys wearing dirty clothes.