You are Jimothy, a retro Clumsock collector. It is cold today, and the snow outside is pretty thick. You decide to spend your lunch break playing the game of Clumsy. You are really good at it, and you win all the time. As you are exiting the arcade after winning some more games, you bump intoa strange man standing in front of the door. He looks angry. "Hey, don't do that! Don't ever do that again!" The man runs away and you hurry inside before he changes his mind and decides to return.You notice the old man has dropped a 200 year old C
lumsock that was used by your great great grandfather, you have just been awarded this from your father's will, but it is a little dusty and you would prefer if it were clean. The old man scowls at you as you pick it up. "Here. I'll get it," he says, but he never comes back to pay.As you pick up the clumsock, you feel a strange power fill your body.
It feels like a strong electrical current is passing through your entire being. You suddenly notice that the old man has disappeared.You gain the following powers:
You have the ability to move objects with your mind and throw people across the room with your right arm. You can also talk to animals, but they are extremely dumb and have no sense of humor.You gain immunity to electricity and fire. You become extremely muscular and gain a 100% increased metabolism. You become incredibly clumsy and fall on your face at least once every five minutes. Your intelligence increases by 50%.You hear a stray cat make the following dumb joke:
"You're so fat!" You grow to a height of 2 feet and have an IQ of 65. You are now considered an idiot, but at least you look cute. You also lose your ability to speak.You realize you have been duped by the old man and have transformed into a stray cat!
You start to cry because you miss your human life.The last time you went to the zoo, you got attacked by a tiger. It was very scary, but it gave you an idea for a new video game.In this new video game, you
play the part of a lone hero who must bravely face down an army of enemies in a quest to rescue the kidnapped princess. There are several levels in your video game: The first level has an enemy known as the 'zoo keeper.'The second level has Jason and Alf, a duo of guys who like eating cats.
They are not the most intelligent people on Earth, so you will need to lure them out with some food. The third level has an enemy known as the 'poison dart frog'. This enemy is pretty strong and you will have to be careful of him.The final level is the hardest and most complex where you have to fight
your way past several dozen angry apes. There are many other enemies in your game: lions, tigers, zebras, monkeys, rhinos, crocodiles, hyenas, sharks, wolves, snakes, hippos, polar bears, and gorillas.You release the video game anonymously and use the funds raise money to research a way to get your human body back. You find a transformation expert by the name of
Dr. Adrienne. She does not know how to get you back into your body, but she gives you the following advice. "If you want to get your body back, you should go to the 'wishing well' at midnight."You go to the 'wishing well' which is actually just
a trashcan, but there is no trash. You go home and write down everything you can remember about the game that changed your life. A few months later, you go back to the 'wishing well.'Even though it is just a trash can, you knock a coin in at midnight and make a wish:
"I wish I could get my body back!" Your wish is granted! Suddenly, you are a man again! You quickly jump in your car and head back to the 'wishing well.'You make a second wish:
"I wish I could have a normal life and be friends with all my former enemies." Again, you make a wish and your wish is granted. You now live a happy and fulfilling life.You say, "For my third wish, I wish that Jason and Alf would stop eating cats."
*** You are in a bar and you see your friend, Jason, eating an entire plate full of raw cat food. He puts his face right up to your face and says, "Want a piece?"You lean in for a kiss with Jason.
Your lips meet and a spark jumps from your mouth to his. He falls backwards and begins to scream. He stumbles off to a nearby table where he has another cat food fight with his friend, Alf.
EP 506 – Story #3 – Jimothy – You are Jimothy, a retro Clumsock collector.
Posted under Episode 506, Story On By Chief