EP 506 – Story #2 – Jimmy Doormat – Your name is Jimmy Doormat.

Posted under Episode 506, Story On By Chief

Your name is Jimmy Doormat. People always treat you like a Doormat, They love stepping on you and wiping their dirty feet all over you even though your a human and not actually a Doormat.


But one day you decide to stand up for yourself. You decide to give these people the finger, literally.
 Your girlfriend has been trying to get you to give her the finger for ages but you refused to because you didn't want to hurt her feelings or something.
Well now it's too late, you're going to have to show the world how much of a Doormat you really are.

But you stand up for this one thing: You will NEVER give your girlfriend the finger!

But one day you catch her giving another man the finger so you decide to take revenge.

You grab her hand and turn it into a finger right in front of everyone. Everyone laughs but then she runs away.

You realize that you have gone too far. You rush to apologize to your girlfriend.

She refuses to talk to you after what you've done to her hand, which is really sad and depressing.
Then she walks out on you and you can see her giving the finger to your face as she's leaving.

This is the wake up call you needed to finally turn your life around. You begin to follow your dream of becoming a

 doormat for the world to step all over.
Now you never get the chance to say no when someone asks to step on you.  And they do.  They love stepping all over your body.

You quickly rise to fame as "The Human Doormat" on YouTube. Videos of various fat people and animals stepping on you go viral.

People are very impressed by the way you take all the abuse without complaint, just like a good Doormat should.

You legally change your name to

 "Doormat" and become famous all over the world.
It was a strange experience having the whole world walk all over you but now you're even more famous than you've ever been before.

Your former girlfriend notices your new found success and tries to get back together with you.

You tell her that if she wants to be your girlfriend again, she needs to let you step all over her first.
She agrees and

for the first time in your life YOU step on someone

.
And you don't stop there, you step on her some more.
And then some more.
And then some more.
And she loves it. She keeps asking you to step all over her body.

You call up Randy Blubber, the worlds heaviest man.

You both agree to make a video where you both step on h

er

.
You will both receive $100,000 if you both do this.
Randy is really excited about making his debut on YouTube.

You and Randy film a video where you both step on your girlfriend.

Everyone on the Internet loves watching you two step on each other.
Your videos get millions of views on YouTube.
Now you and Randy are the hottest things in Hollywood.
You decide to open a doormat franchise called "Doormat Studios" where people come in and step all
 over you.
You and Randy become rich and famous.
And now, as the Human Doormat, you are loved by everyone around you and treated like a King!

You hate this! Instead of walking all over you, you are treated well and people respect you. YUCK!

You decide to finally give your girlfriend the finger for the last time.
Your girlfriend is very upset with what you have done to her hand and she storms out on you for good.
Then she walks back in and gives you a huge kiss and says, "I love you".

The moral of the story:

 NEVER give your girlfriend the finger or she will end up giving it right back to you.