You are Billi Bambino. Your grampa gave you a strange wooden box before his death and told you not to open it until your 50th birthday. After a few months, you start to hear strange noises coming from inside the box, so you decide to open it. The box contains a weird key with three different colored gems on it. You then notice that each color gem is an individual character and one of the characters is a familiar face from the Bible. The character is named Moses.Moses says, "I am here because your grampa didn't want to die." Moses continues, "I am not allowed in heaven or hell either." You ask Moses if he has any advice for you about life.He says that God created him so he wouldn't have to be alone. You tell Moses that it's nice to know he is always there when you need him. Then Moses tells you that he was created to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.You ask Moses what the key unlocks
. He says, "Whatever you want, whatever you desire most in this life." You thank Moses and tell him goodbye. You look back at the box and the colors have changed: now it's the red gem that's on top, which means you are ready for new opportunities in life.You look at the other two
famous characters on the key:
one is well known historical figurecalled John the Baptist and the other is a mysterious person called The Angel Gabriel. You feel like they might help you solve your problems. Afterwards, you put the key into a hidden compartment in your closet and lock it.You realize that your greatest
selfish desire which you lust for most isfame. You crave for more attention than anyone else, even though everyone already loves you. You decide to follow the biblical instructions on the key. The red gem is meant to unlock whatever you desire the most.You wish to be the most famous person on Earth. The red gem glows bright and your wish is granted!
The next day, you wake up feeling refreshed. Your phone buzzes and a video starts playing. It looks like it was recorded by one of your fans. The camera is shaking because the fan is so excited to see you.You realize the fan is hiding behind your nightstand.
You ask him his name and he replies with: "I'm famous too!" He introduces himself as Billi Bambino (pronounced like you). He is an American singer from New York and you are both fans of each other's music.You realize another fan is hiding in a pile of Cory from AIPD's clothes that were made 50 years ago.
He says, "I am the one who is famous." You ask him if he has a name. He responds by saying that everyone calls him Superstar. You decide to call him Steve. Steve tells you that he has been singing since he was little and that he never gets enough recognitionYou tell Steve he can choose one item of Corey's clothes to wear
. After a moment of thought, he picks the white robe with red stripes because it has the word "Superstar" written across it. Steve then asks if you are ready to take a shower together.John the Baptist can't keep quiet any longer. From inside the key, he says "You really messed this up. Just like your grandfather."
You realize that Moses has left the party and you think he might know why your key is giving you trouble. Moses is still holding onto the red gem and you try to put him in the box but he refuses to let go of it.You beg John the Baptist and Gabriel for help.
They say, "This is your fault. You shouldn't have tried to control fate." Moses and John the Baptist get really angry at you and they both start throwing rocks at you. After you are hit, you realize that the key is glowing blue, which means you should do whatthe key tells you to. You put the key back into the box and John the Baptist starts to pray. He asks Jesus to forgive his sins. After praying, he lets go of the red gem and Moses holds onto the gem now.You snatch the red gem out of Moses hands and make a second wish:
"I want everyone to know my name and recognize me as an important figure." The key glows bright and your wish is granted! You are now the most famous person in the world and you own a huge mansion where you live with thousands of fans.You try to go into hiding.
You lock yourself in your closet but you are interrupted by a knock on the door. The fan who recorded your video says, "My name is Superstar and I love you!" You tell him that he's welcome and he walks away.You decide to imitate Moses and lead your followers, called the Bambinites, into the desert.
There you spend several days eating and singing to your Bambini fans. When you come back from your trip, Moses and John the Baptist are still in the box. Moses tells you that he wishes for people to follow him because of his faith, but not necessarily to be saved.The moral of story:
Be careful what you wish for because you might actually get it. A few years later, Moses dies. John the Baptist gives you the box to bury him and tells you that he will join you soon.
EP 499 – Story #1 – You are Billi Bambino.
Posted under Episode 499, Story On By Chief