EP 498 – Story #3 – You are Steve.

Posted under Episode 498, Story On By Chief

You are Steve. You are mining for diamonds so you can finally craft your sweet diamond pickaxe, when suddenly you hear a hissing sound from behind you.
 You turn to look and see the evil clown, Dr. Insano! He is standing right in front of you with his giant laser-blasting mouth open wide! What do you do?

The answer is obvious:
 run away!
So you quickly go underground to hide and hide and then hide some more, until you reach an abandoned mine shaft where there used to be a robot that was supposed to clean out the tunnels, but it got blown up by a mutant bird monster.

You hide in the labyrinth of tunnels, but realize you are lost. You hear the laughs of Dr Insano echo through the maze.

  Do you keep running or stay put?

The answer is obvious: stay put and find a way out!
So you spend the next few days trying to figure out a way out of this mess, when suddenly you notice a tunnel that has a small hole leading outside.

But guarding it is the giant mutant bird!

  What do you do?
The answer is obvious: hide!
So you hide behind a rock hoping it will block out the view of the bird monster, when suddenly it notices you and flies off in search of prey.

You see a pile of Cory from AIPD's clown costumes and quickly put one on, scaring the bird away!

  What do you do?
The answer is obvious: act like a real clown and make people laugh!
So you spend the rest of the day performing comedy routines all over town in front of Dr Insano's minions.

When a large enough crowd gathers around you, you yell, "Violence is never the answer. It's the question; and the answer is yes!"

The answer is clear: you're a hero!
You find yourself surrounded by Dr Insano's minions!  You have to fight them off with your new pickaxe, but you are in over your head!

The first minion approaches you and swing your pickaxe right into it's head.

  What do you do?
The answer is obvious: run away!
So you hide and hide and then hide some more.  You find a place to hide where Dr Insano cannot reach you: the bathroom!

Or so you thought! Dr Insano bursts into the bathroom. Herobrine, blocking Dr. Insaneo's killing blow at the last second, bursts out from the toilet to save you.

  But Dr Insano has you cornered.  What do you do?
The answer is obvious: escape!
You go back to the mines and find the giant mutant bird trying to attack you, so you beat it up using your pickaxe!

Herobrine tames the giant bird and you use it in the fight against Dr Insano in the Nether.

You find a portal that leads you to The End.  You are lost again.
You are in the middle of a war, fighting for what's left of the world.  You have no food and no weapon but your pickaxe, and you've been attacked by an army of
 zombies, skeletons and spiders.
Your pickaxe is useless against the hordes of enemies, so you try to retreat through the tunnel, but the tunnel collapses.  Now you are trapped deep underground.  How do you survive?

You turn to Herobrine, with a grin on his faces, tells you the answer is obvious. You try to guess what he is implying and lean in for a kiss.

  He leans back.
He says: "Oh come on, you already know. You're my love."
Then you kiss him.
You have met your true love.  He is kind and sweet and incredibly hot.

As you kiss Herobrine, you suddenly realize Dr Insano's one weakpoint:

 her big fat mouth.
You hit her hard in the face, and she falls back down the hole.
Then you both run away, leaving Dr Insano trapped below ground.
You find the exit and follow the path to The End.

Dr Insano covers herself in clum and transforms into her final form:

 The World Ender.  She stands over you and the portal, about to unleash her ultimate attack on you when you suddenly realize something: You can't die.  Because you are a champion of the minecraft universe, and your journey doesn't end until you've achieved your dreams and you've built
 a massive fortress full of diamonds, which will one day be called the "Shaft Fortress."
The World Ender tries to kill you, but you take her down and beat her up with your pickaxe.

You finally take down The World Ender and deliver a bad ass line:

 "My name is Herobrine, and I'm your daddy!"
Herobrine is pleased with this statement, but tells you he has another mission for you that only you can complete: taking back the Nether.

You realize that after this victory, your pickaxe deserves a name and you brand it

 "The Pickaxe of Justice."
You tell Herobrine you love him, and he replies "I love you too" before kissing you.  He then takes off his helmet and reveals a different face.
  You scream.
"Who are you?!  Are you even real?!  Is this a dream?  Am I going crazy?!"
The answer is clear: you are going crazy and you need to find out what's really happening.

Herobrine is Dr Insano's identical twin brother!!!!!

  How do you react?

You try to stab him in the face with your pickaxe.  You fail, so you retreat.
"I know who you are!  I have been waiting my entire life to fight you and defeat you!"