EP 497 – Story #2 – You’re Jim Burns, an accountant at Richmond Plumbing and Tires.

Posted under Episode 497, Story On By Chief

You're Jim Burns, an accountant at Richmond Plumbing and Tires. You have found a discrepancy between the March and April Purchasing numbers for 2022 that just don't make sense.


Jim: "I'm thinking of quitting."
Boss: "Why?"
Jim: "Because it looks like I've been embezzling money from this company since last year!"
Boss: "Embezzling?
 That's nonsense! Don't be so melodramatic, Jim! We all know you haven't done anything wrong."
The Boss is a large, brutish man who seems to enjoy watching people squirm.

You notice The Boss is wearing very expensive watches and suspect that he might be trying to frame you for the money HE stole!

The Boss: "How dare you accuse me of stealing from my own company? You think I'd jeopardize everything we've built here by embezzling? Do you have any proof at all?"

You begin your quest to get proof that your Boss has been embezzling.

Jim: "I'll ask around about it and see if anyone else has noticed anything unusual going on with our books."
Boss: "That won't do any good. No one will ever speak up against me because they fear for their jobs."

You hire a private investigator to follow your Boss. You notice some very odd locations that your Boss has been visiting:

 an abandoned amusement park in the middle of nowhere; a mansion in the hills that belongs to someone who has no idea who your boss is or why he keeps showing up there.
A few days later...
Private Investigator (PI): "This guy is a real creep! He goes to weird places and does creepy things!"

> You ask "What creepy things does he do?"

The PI: "He gets really close to women and makes them uncomfortable. Then he follows them home and peeks into their windows when they are alone. And sometimes he takes pictures of them through their windows."

The PI hands you a picture of your boss shaking hands with Jason from AIPD.

The Boss: "Jason was a nice enough guy, but it's not like I could trust him. He had too many secrets. But I'm sure he wouldn't betray me. Not after all the years we spent together."

You pay Jason a late night visit at AIPD HQ.

 You try to talk to Jason, but he seems to be avoiding you.
Jim: "Hello, Jason. I just wanted to say that I hope you're doing well these days."
Jason: "Uh, yeah, sure, I guess.
 Listen, I can't talk right now. I got work to do. Later okay?"
Jim: "Later then."
You decide to take action.
Jim: "I need to get rid of my boss before he ruins this company."

This immediately gets Jason's attention.

Jim: "The best way to deal with my problem is to eliminate the source of the problem."
You leave Jason to his work and go back to your office.
Jim: "I have an idea.
 Let's start embezzling money ourselves!"
You begin by making some cash disappear.
Jim: "When was the last time we paid a bill?"
Boss: "Well, the phone just got turned off again, so I guess that would be the last one."

You are being investigated by the FBI who send their best accounting guy, a man by the name of

 John. They want to know how much money you've stolen over the past few months.
Jim: "Listen, John, it's embarrassing to admit this to you, but I've been embezzling money for months now.
 It started out as a little bit here and there, but lately I've been taking larger amounts. I mean, it's not like we can afford to lose the business that we've worked so hard to build up, so...

John is flabbergasted at your blatant admission to embezzling. You tell him it was all your bosses idea.

Jim: "It was my boss' idea to steal the money. He said it was to keep the company afloat, but I knew that wasn't true. He was embezzling the whole time, and he made me do it, too.

You and your Boss are sentenced to 15 years in prison. You are in the same cell block as him.

Jim: "So, what do you plan to do now that you're here?"
Boss: "I'll kill myself!"
You find yourself sitting across from your Boss, listening to him beg for his life.

You have never felt more powerful ever in your life.

Jim: "I don't think you're quite ready for that yet."
Your Boss struggles against your control.
Jim: "No, no, no! I promised you that I would make you suffer first.

You become the toughest guy in prison.

Boss: "Why did you do this to me? Why am I so weak? This isn't natural."
Jim: "You're not weak. You're just scared. And I thought you deserved it after all the pain you caused everyone at the company."

You have amassed so much power in prison that the guards hand you the key to your own cell. You can leave whenever you feel like it, but you decide to stay to torture your boss.

Boss: "Do you remember the day you found out about my embezzlement? Do you remember how I laughed at you when you confronted me?"
Jim: "Of course. That was the most humiliating moment of my life."

You make your Boss eat dog food as everyone laughs at him.

Jim: "But that humiliation just made me love you even more than I already loved you."
Jim: "And I know what you're going through. I know exactly how much pain you must be feeling.

You look at your Boss who for the first time since entering prison has hope in his eyes.

Jim: "I promise to make this quick. I will break you down until you are nothing but a shell. And I won't stop until you are completely broken."
The Boss begins to cry.

You decide the ultimate revenge against your boss would be for him to

 die of old age.
Jim: "We both know that eventually you will die. So why not speed it up a little bit?
You have your Boss drink poison.
Jim: "Goodbye, Boss.

The Boss eagerly drinks the poison hoping for a quick death, but nothing happens. You begin to laugh and tell him that actually what he just drank was an immortality potion! He will live forever as a broken man! You maniacally laugh and laugh.

The Boss is horrified.

The rest of the prisoners see this act as too cruel and they start an uprising.

 The guards are unable to fight back and soon the whole place is overrun.
Jim: "See you in hell, Boss."
Jim: "I'm free!"
You escape with your newfound freedom and decide to make some new friends.

You tell your new friends this story and they react with

 disbelief.
Jim: "Yeah, well, come on, let's get out of here before someone sees us."
You are running away from prison while telling your story.