EP 494 – Story #3 – You are Keith Terrence, a up-and-coming rapper who is trying to finally get some friends.

Posted under Episode 494, Story On By Chief

You are Keith Terrence, a up-and-coming rapper who is trying to finally get some friends. You do not have good awareness and tend to get attacked by random people. Your first opponent is someone called
 "The Stalker".
You are in the Street of New York.
It's early morning and you're walking down the street with your headphones on, listening to one of your favorite songs when suddenly you hear a strange sound from behind.

It's Eminem aka slim shady!

 He looks like he has been through hell and back again but his lyrics can blow your mind off! Suddenly Slim shady appears before you, smiling menacingly.
"Hey there little boy," the man raps with a smile that could make a normal person piss their pants, "how about we
 rap together?"
Your face turns pale as Slim shady starts laughing maniacally, taking out a knife and holding it against your neck.
"This is for all my fans!" Slim shady shouts as he pushes the blade towards your throat.

You say, "Hold up crazy/I may be lazy/but a rusty knif
e against my throat don't faze me."

Slim shady pauses momentarily to look at you skeptically.
"Come again?" he asks, "you think you can beat me?"
You sigh. "No seriously I'm good," you say, hoping that will shut him up.

The Young Lings show up and you shout, "Oh, no, I peed my pants!"

They laugh loudly and start pulling your clothes off while Slim shady laughs even louder.
Suddenly Slim shady stops laughing.
He says, "Ooh, this is much better than peeing yourself, isn't it?

You play along, realizing that Slim Shady has not seen your pee-pee pants.

"Yes it is, you're right Mr. Shady," you say, pretending to be scared.
"What do you want from me then?" Slim shady asks.
You reply, "A kiss," and lean in to kiss him.
He pulls away just before your lips meet and slashes the knife across your chest, causing a large amount of blood to spill out.
"Well that was fun," Slim shady says with a devilish grin on his face, "now let's rap again!"

Eminem busts the following rhymes:

 Kidnap the president's son / Stick a bomb 'round his neck / And pull the pin when he comes around / Let the world know that the king is dead / Ain't nothing goin' on in heaven anymore
 In my mansion I'll hold court / See
 if the Devil himself walks through those doors / If he does I'll give him the finger / Ain't nobody gonna put baby in the corner
 Find me a white girl who wants to date a black guy / I'll take her to bed and keep her there / I'll bury her in

You interrupt and throw down your own rhymes:

 Can't get enough of my love / In fact I could give you more / Just come on over here and get your fill / Don't be shy, don't be coy
 I'll pound you into the ground / Then watch you crawl back for seconds / It's a
 race to see how long you last
 And when it's time for dessert / I'll bring out the big guns / Blow your ass up so high you might hit space / Now that would be something
 Take off your clothes and lay down on the floor / I'll make you

Eminem drops to his knees before you can finish. He says, "Enough, I've never heard such bars be dropped against me. I concede!"

Everyone cheers, especially Slim shady.
"That was amazing kid," the rapper says, "you're going places."
Suddenly Slim shady reaches for an object in his pocket and you realize it's a gun.

Slim Shady shoots himself in the leg, Cheddar Bob style.

He screams, "Not cool! Not cool! My rhyme!"
With the blood gushing out of his wound, Slim shady collapses onto the pavement and dies. The other members of the Young Lings stand in shock and silence, unsure what to do next.

So you rhyme over his body, "I'm gonna smash you with bamboo, I'll make you eat superglue so you stop speaking poo-poo, People who knew you (you're gonna die) think you're cuckoo, fuck you"

The Young Lins look confused.
Cheddar Bob comes up and takes away the gun, saying, "Let's go home folks, I need some sleep."
You take out your guitar and start playing a song about Slim Shady.

You end the song with a question, "Hey Eminem, what do you think about Will Smith's wife?"

The Young Lings all start laughing hysterically.
Eminem's corpse lies on the ground.
You say, "I wonder where he got that tattoo..."
You enter your house and find a note from Cheddar Bob that reads:
 Sorry I couldn't make it

Eminem's corpse levels up and gains the following corpse powers:

 Mourners - You get +1 sympathy per corpse killed
 Call Me - You can now call people by name
 Fatal Attraction - Every second after death you gain 10% of maximum life
 Bringer Of Death - All corpses killed by you
 are considered to have been killed by Slim Shady
 Bamboo Smash - When attacking with melee weapon you can choose to bash with bamboo instead of fists
 Improvise - When coming up with a new rapped line, you can add "Fuck You" without penalty

You decide to eulogize at Eminem's funeral:

 First we must mourn the passing of one of our own
 If you ask me, he wasn't much fun to hang with
 But that's the thing about us musicians, we don't have any friends
 We get along well with each other but outside
 of this club, we're all alone
 Maybe I'm being too hard on you Slim Shady, because I didn't know you were actually just a corpse
 But I can tell you're no good 'cause you're still alive
 I'd like to dedicate this
 song to the man who died today
 For I'm going to sing it about him
 Now Slim Shady's gone, and the word is he's not coming back
 And so we must say farewell to the brother who used to be on top