EP 494 – Story #2 – You are Sam, you are walking through the forest, when suddenly a strange little creature jumps out of the bushes and says : “Hello me old chum, I’m not a gnelf, I’m not a gnoblin, I’m a gnome and you’ve been gnomed!”

Posted under Episode 494, Story On By Chief

You are Sam, you are walking through the forest, when suddenly a strange little creature jumps out of the bushes and says : "Hello me old chum, I'm not a gnelf, I'm not a gnoblin, I'm a gnome and you've been gnomed!"
"What? What did he just say?" You ask the other gnomes. They shake their heads in disbelief. "No way! No one's ever heard that before." "Well if he didn't mean it literally then what does he mean by it?"

The gnome introduces himself as David Gnomie, the Gnome King.

 He tells you that there has never been a gnome king before him, because all previous kings were either killed or exiled for crimes against society. "Gnomes don't like to be ruled, so we won't let anyone else rule us," explains David.

You ask David to name some of the crimes against gnome society

. He lists off a few: stealing from the fields (gnomes call this "stealing"), stealing honey from bees (called "honey-thieving"), picking flowers to sell at market (known as "flower-picking"), and most importantly - eating the fruits of another gnome's hard
David explains how in his reign, he will end these practices once and for all. But first, he needs your help to take down the current king, who is known as The Fruiter.

You are at the gnome market later that day and purchase a pile of Cory from AIPD's softest sweaters.

 You stuff them in your pocket and head straight to the local pub, where you meet with David.
He smiles broadly and asks you why you're carrying such an odd assortment of clothing items. "I'm going after The Fruiter!"

You see David's face light up with enthusiasm. David tells you that he knows of a lead to where The Fruiter might be. It is a black market flower sale in the bog.

 "It's a dangerous place, but if you can find the right person to talk to, then maybe we'll get ourselves some evidence against The Fruiter."
You tell David about your encounter with The Fruiter


 how he tried to steal your fruit and how you managed to escape him. Then you add that you'd like to find a way to prove his guilt.
David listens quietly as you recount your story.

After your story, David is moved and filled with determination. David hops on the table and yells, "I need a group of adventurous young men to help him. who should I call? AIPD!"

You nod in agreement. "AIPD would be perfect for this task, though I think they'd be a bit too aggressive for my taste," you note.

David is reluctant, but he hates The Fruiter so much that he does not care how it is handled. You meet the members of AIPD who are secretly observing the bog.

 You learn that they have spent weeks watching and waiting for the perfect time to strike.
You agree to help David enact justice upon The Fruiter. The AIPD agents are excited to hear about this new development.

You and the agents slog to bog where Fruiter lives

. You arrive in the middle of the night, when no one else is around. The agents look at you suspiciously; they know you're up to something.
You explain that you plan to surprise The Fruiter in his sleep.

You see The Fruiter and catch him in the act of stealing fruit and with hesitation jump out to strike!

Your knife slices into Fruiter's arm and blood spurts everywhere. Fruiter wakes up and screams in pain.
Fruiter grabs the knife from you and plunges it deep into your chest.

You turn to the AIPD agents and say, "Juice him, boys."

They grab Fruiter by the neck and choke him until he dies.
While Fruiter is dying, you stand tall and proudly proclaim, "The Fruiter is dead!"
One of the AIPD agents replies, "Not yet he isn't."

You return to town and hand over the Fruiter's body to David.

David takes the body back to the bog and buries it.
Once the job is done, David thanks you for your hard work. "I couldn't have done it without you."
Sam feels happy that she was able to help David end The Fruiter's reign of terror.