EP 494 – Story #1 – You are Luis Futon, a guy who owns a furniture store.

Posted under Episode 494, Story On By Chief

You are Luis Futon, a guy who owns a furniture store. One day at 2:30, your life is changed forever.
The phone rings. "Luis! This is Mr. Romano, the owner of The Last Minute Furniture Store." You smile and pick up. "Yes sir?"
"I want to buy that sofa you have in stock."

You inform Mr Romano that Jason accidentally spilled butter on the furniture.

 It's not very noticeable, but it has ruined the finish. "It looks like I could get about $200 for this damaged sofa," you tell him.
Mr Romano laughs. "You don't know how to price this piece properly!"

You instead try to sell Mr Romano Tony's Super famous Treadmill which could be used as a Futon.

 The treadmill is worth over $1,000 and sells for only $500.
"Why would someone need something so expensive just to sleep on? Especially when they can go to their local gym and do the same thing," says Mr Romano.

You go to your local gym and sleep on the treadmill.

 A few minutes later, you wake up with a pounding headache. You check your watch and see that it's 3:00 AM.
Your alarm goes off at 7:45. You're late for work again.

You try to rush and take a shower and bump into Mr Romano.

"Sorry sir, I didn't mean to interrupt you," you say. He smiles and tells you that he was just leaving.
"Tell me, why would someone want to purchase a treadmill just to use as a bed?"

You decide to open your own store selling treadmills as beds. You call the store "Bedmills."

You realize that you still haven't taken down the posters from Bedmills' opening night.
You are at your local gym. You push yourself past your limit and collapse on top of the treadmill.

This causes a PR nightmare the Bedmills' cause people to pass out from exhaustion.

In the aftermath, you decide to close the Bedmills.
The treadmill industry booms overnight.
You are at the beach near the Bedmills'. The sun is shining and the waves are crashing against the shore.

Mr. Romano gives you your old job back.

"Here's a good idea. Why don't we combine our two businesses and open up a Bedmills by the sea?" suggests Mr Romano.
You agree.
You are walking through the jungle.

> You say "I want to fucking kill you Mr. Romano."

"What did you say?" asks Mr Romano.
"I said I want to fuck you."
"That's not very nice," says Mr Romano.
"No, it's true," you insist.

> You say "You question Mr Romano and insist he tell you why you are in the middle of the jungle."

He explains that there is a legend in the jungle of a man called the Savage who lives in a castle deep within the forest.
"As you know, I am an expert hunter. And believe it or not, I caught the Savage.
 Now I must kill him before he kills me," says Mr Romano.
"You never answered my question," you say.
You ask Mr Romano if his name is really Romano.
"Of course not," says Mr Romano.

Mr Romano tells you his real name is

 actually Francis Xavier Romano.
You tell Mr Romano that you still think he is lying to you.
"I'm telling the truth," says Mr Romano.
You insist that Mr Romano is lying to you.

Mr. Romano leads you to where he has imprisoned the Savage.

A rusty metal cage sits in front of a stone wall.
"What is this?" asks Mr Romano.
"Where's the Savage?" demands Mr Romano.
"Hiding behind the wall," you reply.

As lean to look behind the wall, you are knocked out. You wake up in the rusty cage and realize that YOU are the savage!

You are at the Bedmills. You have a headache because you slept on a treadmill.
Mr Romano walks in. "Hi Luis. How'd you sleep?"
You stare blan
kly at Mr Romano.