You are Scooter Daniels, a race car driver from Nova Scotia Canada. You just drove from Fairfax to Daytona, FL. You're in Daytona to meet Listerine, a beautiful girl you met while healing raids on World of Warcraft. You knock on her doorand there's no answer. The apartment is dark with only the light coming through the windows. There are two bedrooms, both empty and untouched by time. The bathroom is pristine but for one thing – an old toothbrush that has long since been replaced.
It looks like you are going to be here for a while to see if anyone shows up. You go get a giant bag of drugs in the trunk of your car andthen head back into the room. You find the drug stash in the kitchen. It's full of all kinds of pills, powders, and other assorted goodies. Also in the kitchen is a half-eaten sandwich and a beer can filled with urine.
You see a note on the table. It reads, "I'm sorry." There is also a bottle of whiskey. You pour yourself a drink. "What do I have to do?" you ask yourself as you take another sip. You start feeling better.
You look around the apartment for clues to Listerine's whereabouts and find the following:A photo of Listerine next to a computer terminal. A stack of mail addressed to Listerine, which seems to have piled up over time. An envelope addressed to you, with the words "Boomerang" written on it in Listerine's handwriting.
You read a text from Listerine saying, "Sorry couldn't make it today I've come down with a cold""Well, that explains the smell," you think to yourself. You open the letter and find a fortune cookie inside. "Your love will soon be returned to you," it says. You try to put together what happened.
You notice something odd in the bedroom: Jason's bedsheets which are drenched in butter beer.On closer inspection, you realize that this was probably Listerine's attempt at cooking dinner. "Butterbeer? That stuff makes me sick!" you say aloud. You reach into the butter beer and grab a napkin.
You realize a map is scrawled onto the napkin."Go east, young man!" you shout. You put the letter back on the table and carefully place the napkin into the envelope. Then you leave the apartment. You drive to the nearest town and purchase a bicycle, then ride west along the coast.
You see Listerine on the beach, but she is not exactly what you expected. As you ride closer, you notice Listerine iswearing a bikini made from a piece of cloth, a pair of sunglasses, and a pair of headphones. She is sitting on the sand, drumming her fingers against the ground. She doesn't seem to notice you or even hear you.
You tap her on the shoulder.Her music stops and she turns around. "I've come all the way from Canada to visit you," you say. "Why won't you talk to me?" Listerine takes off the headphones and removes the sunglasses.
Listerine is surprised to see you and hastily tells you an excuse:"I'm just trying to relax. I don't want to talk to anybody right now." "But we're friends," you tell her. "We met online." Listerine seems confused by this but goes on anyway."I'd rather be alone than with people who pretend to be my friend." "Like you?" you counter. "You pretended to like me when you thought I was your boyfriend." Listerine is silent.
You say, "Tell me what you mean, Listerine.""I can't stand to see people happy. I wish they would all die. And I especially hate men." "But you were so nice to me..." "Because you were a boy!"
Listerine tells you that, if you want her to like you, you mustbecome a woman. "That's ridiculous!" you shout. "Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I'm not a real person! People don't turn into women just because they want to!"
You give Listerine an ultimatum: eithershe starts talking to you, or you go away forever. Listerine is silent. You take out your cell phone and call 911. You leave the beach and hurry back to the apartment.
You are in tears and decide to get revenge on Listerine bymaking sure she never sees you again. You go to your car and put the bicycle in the trunk. Then you put the letter, the napkin, and the fortune cookie into the envelope. You seal the envelope with tape and drop it in a mailbox.