EP 492 – Story #1 – You are Mark Sargent, a flat earther.

Posted under Episode 492, Story On By Chief

You are Mark Sargent, a flat earther. You have found indisputable proof of why the earth must be flat and plan to present your findings to the worlds leading scientists. You sneak into the nobel prize award ceremony, jump on stage and shout:
 "I've proven that the world is flat! The sun, moon, planets and stars all revolve around us!"
The room shakes with applause. All eyes turn towards you as you continue your speech, but it's too late.
 A security guard grabs you and throws you out. The room falls silent. Your presentation was too radical for this audience.
Your research is too controversial; you'll never find a publisher. With nothing left to do, you give up on the whole idea.

Just when you are about to give up all hope, you receive an exclusive offer from Jason from AIPD.

 They want to publish your book, Flatland: A Journey Through Infinity. The AIPD will promote Flatland at every major science conference in the world and even send a team of specialists to visit you in your home.

The team of specialist arrive at your home and you give a rousing welcome speech that you end with, "NASA is Lying! also the moon landings were filmed in Hollywood by Stanley Kubrick!"

You take them on a tour of your house which includes a flat-screen TV, a computer with internet access, a telescope and a 3d printer. You show them your diagrams and models of the universe.
The team leaves and you go back to work. This time, you're ready.
You finally finish your book and give a copy to each member of the AIPD. They read through it and give you their feedback.

Jason starts off, he says that he

's never seen anything like this before. He thinks you should get the Nobel Prize for your discovery and wants to publish your book worldwide.
David agrees with him. The book is so revolutionary that they're not sure if anyone will understand it.

But Tony does not agree and stands up to say

 that you should keep some parts of the book hidden and only reveal them after other flat earthers have gone public with their claims. That way, people won't think you stole all of these ideas from others.

Tony follows up by ask you, "If you are a true flat earther, then why is your house not flat?"

You tell them that you can't prove that the earth isn't flat. You don't know what to do.
You decide to hide the last few pages of your book. When you're done, you give the book to David and tell him, "Keep this safe until I come back

Your pages are uncovered by your rival, a scientist by the name of

 M. C. Escher. He sees the calculations and diagrams that you've hidden. He agrees with Tony, who has been telling everyone that you've stolen his ideas.
Escher tells David that you are a fraud and that you are working alone.

You run a smear campaign against Escher with the slogan:

 "M. C. Escher is a Fake Scientist." It turns out that he didn't win any awards or grant money in his career because he falsified many of his results.
The press loves this story and runs a headline: "NASA Lied About the Moon Landing"
 now has to spend all of his time defending himself, and he doesn't have enough energy to write another book.
He gets desperate and goes on the Internet to see if there are any flat earthers online.

You continue to bully Escher online by writing a scathing blog post titled:

 "M. C. Escher is a Fake Scientist."
Escher's popularity drops.
Escher and David are still arguing about who discovered the truth.
They both go to the AIPD and demand that you be expelled.

Jason listens to Escher's plea and decides to

 give you a chance to make a public apology. If you apologize, you will be allowed to stay. Otherwise, you will be kicked out of the society.
It's up to you whether you want to apologize or leave.

You force Escher to eat peas and tell him you will NEVER apologize!

As an act of revenge, you delete all of the information that he's ever published on the Internet.
You're expelled from the Flat Earth Society.
To save yourself from being thrown out of the Flat Earth Society, you need to convince the other members that you're a true flat e
You contact Escher on the Internet and invite him for a debate.
You tell Escher that you want to meet with him to discuss your theory about the flat earth.

Escher agrees to the debate, but only if it is live. You agree and millions tune in to watch the debates.

You and Escher stand face to face in front of the camera and begin to argue.
You claim that NASA lied about the moon landing.
Escher says that it is impossible
 to prove that the earth isn't flat.
You demand that Escher apologize to the entire world for calling you a fake.
Escher refuses and says, "I'm going to win this debate."

Escher destroys you when he says, "

NASA is lying about the moon landing. Everyone knows that they faked the whole thing."
You're so ashamed by your defeat that you become homeless.
This game ends here.
You're an unemployed flat earther living in a cardboard box under a bridge.

You drive a giant space Steam roller to MAKE the earth flat.

You sit in the driver's seat and move the steam roller around to flatten the ground.
After finishing the job, you go online to brag about your achievement.
You're arrested by the police and charged with terrorism.