EP 490 – Story #2 – You are Trog, a genius intellect caveman lost in the distant future where everyone speaks pig latin.

Posted under Episode 490, Story On By Chief

You are Trog, a genius intellect caveman lost in the distant future where everyone speaks pig latin. Your first thought is to find the ancestors of your peoples when
 you discover that the Earth has been destroyed."
"And what if I am not?"
"Then you will be eaten by a giant worm named Guchuluk."
"What if I am not eaten by Guchuluk?"
"Then you'll survive and live out the rest of your life as a slave on a space station." 
You enter the space station and press the large red button.
 You expect something to happen, but nothing happens. You press it again. Nothing. You press it a third time, and then a fourth. The light flashes green and a voice comes over the intercom: "Please leave the space station immediately." You are so confused that you don't know what to do. You look around for an exit and see a door marked EXIT 2.
 You exit through EXIT 2 and are face to face with Guchuluk! Guchuluk just stares at you and you nervously reveal your troubled past to him.
 He explains to you that he is a giant worm, not a person, and that he eats people who try to escape from his space station. Then he tells you that if you stay there, you will die because he will eat you.
 You are surprised by Guchuluk's ability to talk and reason and ask, "Why do you eat people?"

"Because I'm hungry!"
"But why did you eat all the other people?"
"They were stupid."
"I didn't mean to be stupid!"
"Well, you're still going to die," says Guchuluk.
"How can I get off this planet?"
You notice a pile of Cory from AIPD's clothes that are stuck in the space engine. You remove them and attempt to take off.
 Unfortunately, the space engine won't release its grip on the ship. You call for help and Guchuluk appears. He shakes his head sadly and says, "You have no friends."
"Who are my friends?"
"The robots."
"No, they're not my friends. They hate me."
"That's because you're stupid."
You hear a noise from outside. Damn bro it's Rambo!
 He sees you trapped inside the space engine and tells you to stop your crying. He says that he will free you. You tell him that he needs to get rid of Guchuluk first. He agrees and begins to fight Guchuluk. You begin to cry because you're afraid that Rambo might lose the battle.
 You rush over to Rambo and lean in for a kiss.
 Unfortunately, you both fall into the space engine. You are terrified that you are about to die, but suddenly, you feel a great sense of relief. It's the same feeling you had when you first kissed your wife. As you lay there together, you think to yourself, "This is how it feels to kiss a girl."
You snap back to reality when Guchuluk picks up the space station and tries to shake you and Rambo out so it can eat you.
 You grab onto the space station and yell at Guchuluk, "Let us go!" Guchuluk lets go and allows the space station to crash into the ground. You and Rambo run away. You realize that you need to warn the others before Guchuluk finds them. You return to the base and explain everything to the robots.
 The robots reply: 
"We don't understand you."
"He ate the other people because they were stupid."
"Yes, we saw that."
"But we weren't stupid."
"No, you were very smart."
"Then why did he eat them?"
"He was hungry."
"But we were not hungry."
"It doesn't matter. We're leaving now."
Guchuluk starts attacking and you try to convince the robots to help you by saying 
"If you don't help us, we're going to die." The robots reply, "We don't understand you."
"You have to help us!"
"We don't understand you."
"Help us or we're going to die."
"We don't understand you."
"Just kill us already!"
"We don't understand you."
You open the armory and Rambo arms himself with 2 heavy machineguns. You watch Rambo fight Guchuluk 1v1.
 You see that he is winning. Suddenly, Guchuluk grabs hold of Rambo and pulls him inside the space station. The robots run over to the entrance and start shooting at the space station. You jump in after Rambo and begin to shoot too. Guchuluk releases Rambo and throws him out of the space station. You see that Rambo has been badly injured.
 You are filled with determination! You love Rambo! You hop on Guchuluk's back and begin to rip it's eyes out of it's sockets.
 You don't care if you die as long as you save Rambo. You tear Guchuluk apart and throw it into the abyss. You climb aboard Rambo and ride away. Later, you find that the robots are gone. You wonder where they went. You decide to go back to Earth alone. You walk along a trail leading towards a mountain range.
 Back on Earth, you produce a film about your long lost love Rambo.
 Rambo is portrayed as a brave hero. You win an Academy Award for Best Actor. You are presented with a golden statue of Rambo. You thank everyone in the room for their support. You look down at the statue of Rambo and realize that it looks nothing like Rambo. You weep.