You are Arbuckle Jones, a Sovereign Citizen. Whilst you are traveling to Las Vegas, a Hulking Lizard-person asks for help battling local law enforcement. You fight the lizard-person and save his life. In return he gives you a bag of money." "Really?" I said. "I didn't know that was possible." "It's not," she said. "But it happens all the time." I looked at the screen. You are getting a video call from Agent Fox Moulder, a deranged hermit who thinks he was an FBI agent. He is calling from his cabin in the mountains of Montana. "Huh," I said. "He sounds like my kinda guy." The words on the screen changed. I'm sorry I haven't called you sooner. But I've been busy. And you know how it is when you're alone in the woods. It gets lonely. You tell Agent Fox about the lizard person you just fought. He tells you he has some information that might be useful. Agent Fox Moulder: The lizard people think they are going to take over the world with their army of giant lizards. They use their lizards as weapons against us. Arbuckle Jones: So what do we do? Agent Fox Moulder: We have to stop them. Arbuckle Jones: Okay. You look at a poster of Cory from AIPD that reads "Have you seen my clothes? If you have, give me a call." This inspires you to __________. Agent Fox Moulder: We need to find out where this lizard person lives. Arbuckle Jones: Where does he live? Agent Fox Moulder: He calls himself Dr. Frank N Furter. He lives in his mansion in the desert. Arbuckle Jones: Cool! I'll go there right now. What should I bring? You bring the book of delusions ? Agent Fox Moulder: No, I'm afraid not. I'm still looking for it. Arbuckle Jones: Well, then I guess I'll just go by myself. I'd rather not wait around for you to get your shit together. Agent Fox Moulder: Are you sure? Arbuckle Jones: Yeah, I'm sure. You hang up and immediately call Agent CBS, your rival. Agent CBS: Hey, I heard you were looking for me? Let's meet up later tonight so we can talk about our differences. Arbuckle Jones: Sure. I'll see you later. Agent Fox Moulder: Good luck, Arbuckle. Officer: Sir, you can't drive around with a phone in your hand. You tell Officer Cory about your quest to defeat the lizard people and he lets you off with a warning. You head straight for Dr Frank N Furter's lizard people mansion and knock on the door. Dr. Frank N Furter: Who is it? Arbuckle Jones: It's Arbuckle Jones. I need your help. Dr. Frank N Furter: Oh yeah? Why don't you come inside? I'm making some drinks. Arbuckle Jones: Great! Can I borrow some clothes? I'm not feeling very well today. Dr. Frank N Furter: Of course. Come on in. As soon as you step inside the house, you notice a strange smell. It smells like burning hair. Dr. Frank N Furter: Welcome to my home. Arbuckle Jones: Thanks. I feel better already. Dr. Frank N Furter: I made some drinks for you. You begin to drink and immediately feel weird. You begin to transform into __________. Dr. Frank N Furter: That's right! You're becoming a lizard man! Dr. Frank N Furter: Excellent! Now let's get started on our plan to destroy the lizard people once and for all. Arbuckle Jones: Let's do it! Dr. Frank N Furter: First we need to build a robot. You help Dr Frank N Furter build the robot to destroy the lizard people. It looks quite odd, not at all like what you expected. It actually resembles a __________. Dr. Frank N Furter: That's right! It's a Transformer! After building the robot, Dr. Frank N Furter takes you to his laboratory where he begins to experiment with the robot. Dr. Frank N Furter: I want you to go into the lab and watch the monitor. There will be a lot of noise and flashing lights. You watch and have an Epilepsy. Arbuckle Jones: Easy! Dr. Frank N Furter: Then I want you to go into the next room and make yourself comfortable. I'm going to test the new weapon on the robot. Arbuckle Jones: Okay! Dr. Frank N Furter: When you hear the alarm, you run back into the lab and press the button. Arbuckle Jones: Got it! Dr. Frank N Furter: Now let's go destroy the lizard people! You enter the lab and see a big machine sitting in front of a control panel. There are wires and tubes coming out of the top of the machine. You randomly press and twist and massage the tubes and wires and it appears to control the Transformer. You look as the bay doors on the lab open up and hundreds of lizard men charge into to fight! Dr. Frank N Furter: Go! You rush into the room and smash a bunch of heads together. But soon you realize that this isn't enough. The lizard people keep getting reinforcements and you can't hold them off for long. Dr. Frank N Furter: Time to get serious! Dr. Frank N Furter: Let's set the robot on fire! You watch as the Doctor sets the robot on fire which gives it super powers, but only for a short while! It will burn to death soon, but hopefully it is strong enough to finish the lizard men assault!!! Arbuckle Jones: Awesome! Dr. Frank N Furter: Now let's destroy the lizard people! The robot crashes through the wall and starts smashing the lizard men all over the place. They don't stand a chance against the robot. Dr. Frank N Furter: Great job, Arbuckle Jones! We did it! Arbuckle Jones: Thanks!
EP 489 – Story #2 – You are Arbuckle Jones, a Sovereign Citizen.
Posted under Episode 489, Story On By Chief