EP 485 – Story #1 – You are Gumshoe Goober, a fish detective who’s on the hunt for a dangerous cartel member.

Posted under Episode 485, Story On By Chief

You are Gumshoe Goober, a fish detective who's on the hunt for a dangerous cartel member. There's just one problem, they're on dry land where you can't go.
 You must sneak into their headquarters to find out what they know and then bust them out of jail so that they'll be forced to talk. Unfortunately, they've hired some bodyguards with guns! It looks like your only option is to try stealth.

> You slip into the toilet and continue you espionage mission to find the cartel member you are looking for.

The bathroom door swings open in front of you, revealing an empty room lit by flickering fluorescent bulbs. The air has been recently ventilated, making it smell faintly of lavender cleaner. Your shoes squeak against the floor as you creep down the hall towards a pair of double doors at the

> You barber shop. Inside you see Jonathan Van

Van Ness appears to be having his hair cut by an unenthusiastic girl whose name tag reads "Iris" She seems bored out of her mind and isn't paying much attention to what she's doing, even though the chair looks very uncomfortable.

> You scare Jontathan Van Ness and he accidentally stabs Iris in the throat with scissors.

Iris' eyes bulge wide, and she drops the clippers onto Van Ness' head. He yanks the scissors from her hand and turns back around, slicing her throat instead. She falls off the chair to the ground and begins thrashing about, gurgling blood.

> You watch Jonathan Van Ness work his magic as not only does he suture the wound, but gives Iris a complete makeover.

Jontathan Van Ness finishes up, then puts his tools away in a nearby cabinet. His hands glide over the smooth contours of his face, removing any hint of stubble or stray hairs before he stands up and heads toward the exit.

> You follow Jonathan Van Ness.

Your quarry has gone outside. As you step out into the parking lot, you feel something heavy slam into your stomach and knock the wind out of you. Instinctively you reach inside your coat and pull out your revolver.

You look up to see Van Ness has punched you in the stomach. He apologizes and says, "I thought someone was following me..."

 Then he pulls a knife out of his pocket and plunges it into your chest. You cringe back in pain as blood sprays everywhere.
After escaping from prison, you are still sore after being stabbed through the heart.

You guilt Jonathan Van Ness into giving you a makeover, which gets you back into the cartel leader's headquarters.

 But the real goal of your operation is to get close enough to him so that you can 


 him. This involves infiltrating his inner circle - specifically, his assistant, Lorna Bainsworth. You decide to wait until nighttime to make your move.

You find the following illegal evidence in your night time search:

1x Signed Letter from the FBI Agent (Found in trash bin)
3x Unsigned Letters from the Cartel Leader (Found in garbage)
5x Illegal Documents Found In Van Ness' Office (Secrets Revealed)
4x Illegal Document From A Private Investigator

You invite Jonathan Van Ness to a bonfire in the backyard where you are burning incriminating documents. You offer a joint and he accepts and opens up to you about his cartel activities.

 When you finally catch him red-handed with stolen government funds, he pleads for mercy. You tell him that this is going to cost him dearly, and that he will spend the rest of his life in jail.

You say all of this can be avoided if he agrees to make out with you. He reluctantly agrees.

 After a brief kiss, he admits that you were right - there is no way he can beat the charges when they're so heavily stacked against him.
  You accept Jonathan Van Ness's deal.

You retire from the detective business with Jonathan, and open a bed and breakfast in Virginia.

A year later, the local police force receives a tip that Jonathan Van Ness is hiding in the house. They raid the place, but Van Ness manages to escape. However, due to the lack of evidence, the case never goes to trial.