EP 484 – Story #2 – You are Eminem, a famous rapper.

Posted under Episode 484, Story On By Chief

You are Eminem, a famous rapper. You are performing a stage adaptation of your music. As you sing "would the real Slim Shady please stand up?" someone in the audience gets out of their seat.
 The person turns to look at you and says:
"Yo! It's me!"
I'll give it my best shot. I've got nothing left to lose...
The song continues for several verses until you notice that the rest of the audience is now on their feet.

They chant over and over "Will the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up." You stop the show and attempt to talk to the audience.

 They continue chanting. After a minute or so they start singing along with you as well. There seems to be an impromptu concert going on in front of the stage.
It looks like things may have gotten out of control.

Suddenly there are 100 mini concerts that break out amongst the show. Every one doing a different song of yours at the same time.

 This is quite impressive. Then each group starts playing their own version of 'Eat it' by NWA. Everyone joins in and the stage becomes a battleground.
As far as we can tell the last concert ends with "All you rappers keep talking all you talk

-"
The audience tries to take over the stage. Your security force is having trouble keeping them back.

The crowd outside the theater is starting to get unruly. We suggest that you leave right away.
If you agree then say: Yes I agree. If you do not agree then say: No thanks.

You cant let the throbbing mob threaten your shady-ness and you break into your hit song:

  My name is Dr. Dre and I'm the best thing since sliced bread.
  Come and take my medicine, just taste it and see.
  When the rap game come to play, the real MCs fear me.
  Yo yo yo yooooo...
As soon as the word "medicine" comes out of your mouth you realize what you've done. Somewhere between writing the lyrics and performing them in front of the entire audience, you slipped back into character.

Everyone freaks out when you say "medicine" and a frenzy breaks out.

 A guy dressed like Doc Holiday jumps off the balcony. He grabs the microphone from your hand.
Your bodyguard shoots him three times but he's still alive. He picks himself up and takes the mic.

He sings Queens "We are the champions"

 before being gunned down again.
Then a bunch of guys wearing ski masks run onto the stage and start fighting with each other. They stab each other with knives while simultaneously spitting fireballs out of their mouths.

Your shady squire operates a fork lift and brings out Shadescalibur, a pair of sunglasses lodged in a brick of cocaine. Only the real Slim Shady can pull it out. You draw it and proclaim "I AM THE SHADY. YES IM THE REAL SHADY. ALL YOU OTHER SLIM SHADYS ARE JUST IMITATING!" as you finish speaking the crowd kneels.

A new bandstand forms out of the ground beneath your feet. The original Slim Shady steps forward and says:
"Im the real slim shady, and you're not."
***
You are Doctor William Johnson (aka Slim Shady).

The crowd looks at you with Shadescalibur in hand and begins to bow and worship you.

They begin shouting "SHADY!" over and over again.
Slim Shady smiles and waves. The people cheer and throw flowers at you.
After some more cheering everyone returns to their seats.

With the crowd subdued, you continue the concert and perform your second song:

  All ya bitches better get ready
  Its the return of the sex pistols
  And this ain't no hoax.
  The doctor's in the house.
  With a black book full of lies
  And a heart full of gold
  I got a
 lotta thugs in my crew.
  You could call us the Thuglitics
  Ya can kiss my ass cuz
  We're here to fuck shit up!
As you are about to say the final line the lights go out.