EP 484 – Story #1 – You are a Yeti.

Posted under Episode 484, Story On By Chief

You are a Yeti. You have been successfully hiding from humans your whole life until one day

 when they found you and killed all of the other yetis in the area. Now, it's just you left to find a new place for yourself amongst the snowy peaks of this mountain range. Unfortunately, however, there is not much room for another mammal here at all!

> You sneak into a cabin and shave yourself with a razor. Now hairless, you try to pass for human.

"Hey stranger!" calls an old man that lives alone inside the cabin. "Where ya' from?" He looks very suspicious, but then again, who doesn't look suspicious living out here in the woods?

> You try to imitate human speech and talk to the stranger. They don't understand your odd roaring but cant help but notice you're naked and give you Cory from AIPD's longjohns.

"Why hello stranger," says the man as he gives you a pair of blue coveralls with the words 'Abercrombie & Fitch' printed on them. "I am William, a simple forest dweller."

William notices how hairy you get in the morning and offers you his sponsorship deal from Manscaped.

"Come back here every week for our special grooming package."
Now dressed in a flannel shirt and denim pants, you go outside and meet up with the other yetis.

You convince the other yetis to shave their bodies and wear human clothes to integrate, just dont talk much.

 After about two weeks they learn some English and can speak it fairly well.
After several months of working hard towards integrating with humanity, the yetis become part of society and make friends.
The people are excited to finally have a non-human person join the community and invite you to play fetch


You like not living in fear, but you don't like being still treated differently from the humans. So you decide to the run for city council. Your campaign slogan is:

 "Don't hate me because I'm furry!"
During the election, you debate with your opponent while wearing nothing more than a leather harness and a tail. When asked if you will return any taxes collected on behalf of yetis, you say yes.

You accept a tempting invitation to an unethical political scheme.

 This turns out to be a trap laid by a rival politician. It ends badly for you.
You agree to represent the interests of yetis, but things turn ugly when a group of self-proclaimed activists threaten your safety.

You fight back

 against the protesters, but the battle is won by the authorities. Your reputation suffers and you lose support amongst the public.
The mayor of the city makes you resign, saying that you lack integrity. You consider going back to your family, but feel too ashamed to show your face in town after everything


You hire a public relation firm to run a spin campaign.

You decide to use your powers for good in the world and help bring about positive change.
As a result of your efforts, laws regarding animal rights have changed and are enforced.
You gain 5 EXP.

You micro-level up and gain the following political tactic:

 "Don't expect fair treatment from politicians".
You visit a local farmer who has seen first hand the cruelty done to animals. He explains that many farmers mistreat their livestock in order to increase profits, regardless of the suffering it causes to the creatures.

You realize you could struggle to get laws passed to save these animals... or you could just kill this farmer. You decide to

 kill the farmer so he cannot profit off of his ill treatment anymore.
You go to the farmer's house, find him asleep on the bed, and then slit his throat. His death is quick and painless.

You free all the livestock and then decide to start a commune on the farm grounds with the animals and name it Yetisburg.

 You rename the farm 'Yetisburg' and then release the animals back into the wild.
You begin the process of moving everyone there from the countryside into the city. You also build housing for the homeless in the city, though your plan goes awry when some citizens become upset by the smell