EP 481 – Story #3 – You are Fabio Christ, Jesus’s Spanish Half-brother.

Posted under Episode 481, Story On By Chief

You are Fabio Christ, Jesus's Spanish Half-brother. You have no godly powers as your father is Joseph, who's just a
n
 Average carpenter.
 But you're a pretty good fighter and can handle yourself in a fight. You also know how to use the sword well enough for self-defense.
Your best friend is Tomas, a Spaniard from Seville.

You roam the countryside with your sidekick Tomas until you come upon cattle rustlers.

 They attack you, but you manage to kill them all before they could harm anyone else.
Afterwards, you find that one of the men had been carrying some papers. You take it back to town to see if there was any information on where the cattle were taken or who the bandits were

.

You find a satanic knife on one of the bandits and then you realize what've you've done... you've killed a made made in the El Diablo Satanic Cartel!!!

The police arrest you, but you escape by jumping out of the window and running into the woods. You hide in the bushes until nightfall, when you sneak away through the forest.
As you walk along the road, you hear a man screaming.

You decide to investigate the screaming from a distance. You see

 a man being attacked by two other men. One of them has a knife and he stabs at him repeatedly. The victim falls down, bleeding profusely. The attacker then takes his wallet and runs off.

As you approach the man's body to check for vital signs, his eyes glow red and you see the a satanic pentagram engraved on his head!

"Satan's minions!" you shout. "We must inform the authorities."
You rush over to the nearest village and tell the sheriff about the murder. He sends you to the local church to pray for the dead man's soul.

An angel visits you in your time of need and gives you the weapon you'll need to get the upper hand on the Cartel:

 A Holy Sword blessed by God himself.
You return to the crime scene and notice that the bloodstains form a perfect pentagram around the corpse. You suspect that this might be part of a ritual performed by the devil worshippers.

You plunge the holy sword into the ground at the center of the pentagram. The ground surges before collapsing around you, revealing an underground cathedral to Satan!

A voice booms out from within the darkness. "Who dares disturb my temple?"
You answer, "I am Fabio Christ, son of Joseph, and I seek the help of Lucifer, Lord of Hell."

Satan shudders when they hear your name and studders "C C Christ?!"

He then says, "Oh yes, I remember you. Your mother was a whore and your father was a carpenter..."
You reply, "Yes, and I'm here because I want to join your ranks."

Satan gives you an initiation test:

 Kill someone in cold blood. If you pass, you will become a member of the Devil's Legion.
You accept the challenge and go to the nearest bar and pick a random person.
You stab the stranger in the chest and watch as he dies right before your eyes.

You use the holy powers of the sword to bring the man right back to life and tell him, "Sorry, gang initiaon."

Satan laughs hysterically and tells you, "No problemo, baby boy! Now let's party!"
***
You wake up in bed next to a beautiful woman. She asks you what happened last night and you tell her that you got drunk and passed out.

The woman says "not that, I mean the

 murders and stuff," and she pulls up a chair to sit beside you.
She explains that you went to a bar and picked a guy at random to kill.
The first thing you do is apologize to the man, who wakes up and is confused as to why you would kill him.

You try to explain again, but a demon tells you that Satan wants to talk with you privately. This is your chance! You meet with Satan and he says, "

Well, now that you're a member of the legion, we can really start making money together. We can sell souls, make deals, and even open our own franchise. What do you say?"

You ask "Who are we selling the souls to?"

Satan replies, "Why, ourselves of course! Why would anyone buy another soul when they can just create their own?"
You point out that creating new souls is impossible.
Satan says, "Ah, but not anymore!

Satan shows his new soul creating device:

 It looks like a big crystal ball with tentacles coming out of it.
The tentacles reach into people's bodies and pull out their souls.
They then place the souls into the crystal ball and the souls are instantly turned into a new creature.

You watch as Satan inserts a soul into the crystal and a creature emerges with the following features:

It has four arms, two legs, a tail, and wings.
It has the face of a goat.
It has horns and hooves.
Its eyes glow red.
You ask Satan, "What happens to these creatures?"

You watch as the creature immediately is sent to the slaughterhouse and turned into discount burgers for all of hell's creatures.

Satan says, "That's right, we're killing them all so that we can turn them into cheap food. This way, everyone gets a taste of the pleasures of the flesh without having to pay the price.

You cannot contain your horror and pull out your holy sword to swipe at Satan!

But Satan easily dodges the blow and taunts you, saying, "Go ahead, kill me, you little bitch. See if you can cut through my skin."
You struggle to hold back tears and beg Satan for forgiveness.

Satan approaches for a hug and you plunge your sword into his eyeball.

Satan screams in pain and flees from you.
You run after Satan and catch up to him.
You grab him and throw him into a pit of fire.
You then flee from the inferno and the smoke clears to reveal Satan's charred remains.

You become the new ruler of hell, bound to mete out punishment to the tormented for eternity.

You have gained the power to command demons and to summon forth armies of the damned.
You gain the ability to see the future and to control the minds of others.
You gain the ability to create portals to other dimensions.