EP 479 – Story #1 – Welcome to the Baltimore County Animal Control Office automated reporting system.

Posted under Episode 479, Story On By Chief

Welcome to the Baltimore County Animal Control Office automated reporting system. Please listen carefully as our options have recently changed. If a dangerous animal is outside your residence, press one. If an animal is trapped in a vacant building, press two. If
 you see evidence of another kind of animal on someone else's property, press three."
"If none of those apply, press zero and please wait for further instructions," says the recorded voice.
You are now standing inside the entranceway to the Animal Control Office.

> You look at you automated answering machine and realize you have over a hundred messages. This must be important, you listen and find out that.

Hello! This is Dr. Jekyll speaking. I'm just calling to let you know about my latest breakthrough with the serum. It seems to work even better than before; this time it took less than twenty-four hours for my subjects' skin color to completely transform from white to black.

You immediately visit Dr. Jekyll's laboratory.

 He greets you warmly. "I've been expecting you," he says. "Come, take a seat." As you enter his lab, you notice how different it looks compared to last time.

You look around and see a poster of Jason from AIPD fuming with anger.

 Above the photo is printed the phrase: 'A few well-placed bullets will keep most of these animals off the streets.'
"Dr. Jekyll!" yells Detective Fetlock through the door.

You watch Dr Jekyll grin as he pushes a button an unleashes his latest mutant creation:

 a six-legged dog with a human face and no body. It runs right past you down the hall and into the sewers where its legs melt away and disappear.
Dr. Jekyll laughs maniacally as you back up against a wall.

You fashion together a flamethrower out of the stove and a propane tank.

 Your only shot at saving yourself is to put out the fire by setting the office alight. Unfortunately, your attack doesn't come quick enough and the flames consume you before they can reach the stove.
You have died of burns due to explosion or self-inflicted gunshot wound while trying
 to defeat a fire-breathing creature.
"Oh shit." You curse under your breath. You didn't do all that just so you could die now? What good had any of it done?

You are brought back to life by Dr Jekyll, you look in the mirror to see you have the following mutations:

Red hair (from a single gene)
Long nose
Big ears
Pointed teeth
Wide mouth
Tiny hands and feet
Small tail
The first thing you feel compelled to do is check the fridge for food.

The Coast Guard, arriving just in time, rescues you and arrests Dr Jekyll.

 The doctor claims that he was merely experimenting with the formula, but since it is illegal to test drugs on humans without proper approval, the judge sentences him to ten years in prison.
You receive a promotion to Captain and return to Baltimore City, where you are promoted again to Commodore.

The other officers call you "T-Rex the wet rat" behind your back. You can still hear them, though, because of extra-large ears.

When you arrive at work one morning, a package has been delivered to your desk containing a strange looking device. It is called a Dictaphone.
You are summoned to the board room and forced to sit across from Chief Wigglesworth who reads off a list of allegations against you


"1. Unauthorized use of military hardware
2. Using government resources for personal gain
3. Receiving kickbacks from drug dealers
4. Gambling
5. Public drunkenness

You admit to all the allegations are given a stern warning:

 don't repeat them.
After leaving the meeting, you go home and lock yourself in the bedroom. You pull the blinds closed and turn on the radio to drown out the noise. After several minutes you fall asleep.