EP 478 – Story #1 – You are Dracula.

Posted under Episode 478, Story On By Chief

You are Dracula. After many centuries of work you've finally achieved your dream of becoming pope.
 You have become a cardinal and now sit in the chair of St. Peter's Throne.
Cardinal: Dracula is an ambitious cardinals who wants to become pope. He has the power to turn his enemies into bats.

> You dump out a bucket of Cory's clothes onto the streets of the Vatican to let people know you mean business.

The clothes are strewn across the street, but they don't seem to have attracted any attention yet.
You look through the windows of the room that leads to the backside of St. Peter's Basilica.

You see the people are distracted by a speech given by your rival:

 Cardinal Vittoria. She is speaking about the threat of vampires.
Cardinal: Vittoria is an elderly and somewhat senile cardinal who believes that all supernatural creatures are evil.

You interrupt her speech and give a rousing speech of your own about the cosmic benefits of supernatural creatures and there existence being a miracle from God.

Vittoria looks like she is not pleased at all with what you said.
"How dare you interrupt me!" She shouts at you. "I was just going to tell everyone how we should exterminate these monsters! I'll show you how it's done!"
She takes out a crossbow and points it at you.

You command your followers to tackle and disarm her.

 The mob quickly overpowers her guards and drags her to the ground. They put their thumbs on her throat and hold her down while you strangle her to death.
You then say "Beware, ye children of the night, for I am Dracula."

The people gasp that you have killed Cardinal Vittoria and you try to minimize the murder.

 You claim that she had been very old and senile, and that it would have happened sooner or later anyway.
Cardinal: The crowd has become frightened and tries to run away from you.

You are shocked to see the Cardinal has come back to life and threatens you.

"Now you're in my power! Now you will die!" She screams as she stands up.
You command your minions to kill her again. The mob quickly surrounds her and stabs her several times until she is dead.

You say, "hey GUYS! Omg! Let's all go play a PS5 game! Nobody touch the COMPUTER THOUGH!"

You start throwing around random commands.
Cardinal: You order your minions to bring the body of Cardinal Vittoria to the center of St. Peter's Square.
The body is dragged through the streets and thrown into the middle of the square.

You hold a town hall about how to deal with Carndinal Vittoria and her immortal crimes against the Vatican.

"First of all, she was a horrible monster that deserved to die. Second, it's good to be a vampire. We have more fun and we get to eat delicious human blood."
You then take out a bottle of wine and begin to drink.

You turn killing the immortal Cardinal Vittoria into a new recreational game for the town. You lock her in a stockade and have two teams of 5 people see which team can kill her first.

Cardinal: You command the mob to destroy all evidence of Cardinal Vittoria's existence.
The mob begins tearing down every building that the Cardinal was associated with and burning them to the ground.

100 years later, you are still in charge of the Vatican. A young priest questions why Cardinal Vittoria must suffer forever and you explain to him

 that the only reason she was ever executed is because you didn't want anyone to know you were really Dracula.
Cardinal: You return to the throne room to speak to Cardinal Vittoria.

You try to make peace with Vittoria and let her out of the stockades.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me. I will leave the Vatican."
"No, no. I'm the one who is wrong here. I've been thinking too much about myself and not enough about others."

You make a peace treaty with Cardinal Vittoria.

 You will stop using the name "Dracula" and she will forget all about the events that happened during her time in power.
She agrees and leaves the Vatican.