EP 473 – Story #3 – You are Man-man-man-man, the superhero.

Posted under Episode 473, Story On By Chief

You are Man-man-man-man, the superhero. You are sitting in a restaurant, reading a book while your meal is served to you by one of the waiters.
There's a knock on the door. "Come in," says the man-man. The waiter opens it and steps aside, letting in another man who looks like a zombie.

You recognize the man, it's the Taliban Man.
 He raises his gun at you and fires!
He hits you right between the eyes. You go down instantly.
You're dead...
***
You are Dead. Your death was instantaneous.

You are laid to rest on a pile of AIPD speedos.

Your body will be cremated and disposed of at sea.
The end.
***
You open the door. There stands the man-man, with two zombies behind him.

You are boy-boy-boy-boy, sidekick of the late man-man-man-man and seeking revenge for the death of your friend and mentor.

You've got an axe, a knife, and some other stuff in your hands.
The man-man says: "Well, well. It seems we have our hero back."
The two zombies say: "Oh, good!"

You throw a jar of Cock-burning Mayonnaise at the zombies and they begin to melt.

You look at the man-man and say: "I'm going to kill you!", then take aim with your knife.
"No, no, I think not," says the man-man, pointing his finger at the sky.

Instead of blocking your attack, the man-man points to sky as you stab him.

"That way," he says.
A bolt of lightning strikes the ground next to you.
The three of you are thrown backwards by the impact.
You're in the graveyard.

You are baby-baby-baby-baby, the son of man-man-man-man.  You grow up without a father figure and live a fairly life, but you have a secret you have the following superpowers:
  You can make anyone do anything that you command them to do (with the exception of killing themselves), using only your mind.  You are able to read minds and control people through telepathy.

You use your powers to be a precog cop.

Your mother has always wanted you to have a normal childhood and lead a normal life, so she never told you about her powers or that you were really a superhuman.
You keep this fact hidden from everyone.

You are in a high pressure situation at a shootout at the local nuclear power plant and to stop the intruders you push the big red button.

You're dead...
***
You are Dead. Your death was instantaneous.
You are laid to rest on a pile of AIPD speedos.
Your body will be cremated and disposed of at sea.

You are sperm-sperm-sperm-sperm. You live in a cryogenically frozen sample of man-man-man's sperm, and today is the day you meet the love of your life, egg-egg-egg-egg.

The egg-egg-egg-egg has been thawed out for the first time since it was put into cold storage. It lies there on a bed of ice, its internal temperature having dropped to just over 0 degrees Kelvin (-272.
15 Celsius).
You walk up to the egg-egg-egg-egg and give it a little tap with your finger.
It starts quivering slightly.
You say: "Hello."

You immediately fuse together and transform into the ultimate superhero:

You are Baby-Boss, the Ultimate Superhero. You have the following abilities:  You are able to merge with any object.  You are able to control the mind of others.

You mind control people and make them feel bad by revealing your troubled past to them:
  You had a tough childhood.  You grew up in poverty.  Your parents died when you were young.  You don't know what happened to your brother.  You lost your job because of your drug addiction.

One day you are swimming in the sea and by chance you merge with man-man-man-man & baby-baby-baby-baby.

Man-man-man-man becomes your sidekick:  He's called Baby-Boss.  His superpower is the ability to suck.  He sucks everything around him (e.
g., air, water, electricity, etc.).  You have the same powers as man-man-man-man  except you can only suck things that are within reach.
You have found the perfect place to live:  The beach.

You watch your sidekick suck up sand and small crab-crab-crabs as you bask in the sun.

You're in the graveyard.
You are baby-baby-baby-baby, the son of man-man-man-man.




You give them heartfelt eulogy:
  "He was my best friend.  He was the sweetest guy.  He was the kindest soul.  He was the most awesome dude.  He was the coolest person.

He was the goodest guy.
  He was the bestest friend.
He was the bestest ever. We shared many adventures. We spent countless hours together. We lived the dream.
So long, pal.