EP 472 – Story #1 – You are Conman the Barbarian, an accountant who ended up being born in a family of mountain men.

Posted under Episode 472, Story On By Chief

You are Conman the Barbarian, an accountant who ended up being born in a family of mountain men. All your life you've pretended to be a man of the wilds and luckily nobodies challenged you on your barbarian credentials until
 your momma died. She never told your dad you'd inherited a sizeable fortune that she was careful to keep hidden from him. Unfortunately, he died shortly afterwards. You have not been able to find any evidence of where you money is hidden.

> You fight the people at the lawyer's office where you are read the will.  You defeat all of the weak lawyers, but they know nothing.  But they tell you of someone who might,
 but they don't know what it is you want to know. They suggest the name "Greenhill".

> You slap the weak lawyer with your bladed briefcase and Yawp.

You give the lawyer a nice nasty slap.

The barkeep has already dealt with the two lawyers. They didn't have much to say other than the name "Greenhill" and that it would take three days.

> You leave the office and begin the hunt for the man known as "Greenhill".

The office is at the center of town and you begin searching the buildings. After some searching you find the address you need in a tavern. The door is open so you step inside.
The tavern is dimly lit, lit by lanterns along the wall.

> You level up and gain the following Greenhill Stalker powers:

Stalk: You can now track the target through his senses.
Kick: You can now kick the target.
Slide: You can now slide along the ground.
Shuffle: You can now move silently.

> You use his senses to realize he is in a Polish restaurant.  You find the nearest one and sure enough you see "Greenhill" sitting in a booth in the corner.

You sit in the corner and wait for Greenhill to get close enough for you to attack.
You wait.
It doesn't take long at all before you see Greenhill in the restaurant across the street from your hideout.

> You shuffle behind Greenhill and ask him your burning question:

"Greenhill, I am looking for a man named Greenhill."
Greenhill looks up and seems confused. He raises his eyebrow slightly. "Is that so?"
"Yes. Do you know who he is?
> You fall for Greenhills masterful mind manipulation and listen intently as Greenhills tricks you into searching the sewers for Greenhill.

"Ah yes, Greenhill. A mysterious and reclusive man, very well respected. Very few people know his true identity."
Greenhill waits for your answer. You still seem interested in him.

> You search the sewers for the rest of your life looking for a fortune that you'll seemingly never find.  It becomes your obsession and one day you think you see a glint of gold in nearby pile of shit.

You continue on in the darkness, trying not to slip and fall. But you notice the glint of gold in a pile of shit.
You have found what you came here for. You pick up the gold in a little bag and carefully leave the sewer.

> You take the "gold" to the bank and they you tell you this is shit covered corn and it's worthless.  You adamantly argue that it is not and is real gold.

"Fine. Just because you don't believe me doesn't mean I'm wrong. But this is all I have so you better take it or leave it."
You take the money, which is indeed covered in corn shavings, but it looks pretty valuable to you.

> You turn your corn into gold by making Corn Flakes.  You are Mr Kellogg's.

"My name is William Kellogg, but I don't usually go around announcing my name. It's more important to me that people see the quality of my product. What do you think of my corn flakes, young lady?"