Introducing the Artificial Intelligence Police Department! CNET News - AI police units were out in full force Monday in downtown San Jose to spot crimes and create a record for crime reduction and apprehension. The pre-emptive AI police operation used software that matched photos in users’ social media feeds with different crime threats posted by city officials and considered open community policing techniques. "It's like having a cop on every corner, but not," said one officer who didn't want to give his name. "They can be anywhere, so it is much harder to avoid them." It isn't long before a known politician has a deepfake made of them committing some serious crime and posts it online, which gets the AI police unit really excited about their new program. The AIPD also uses their facial recognition technology to help track down criminals and have already apprehended over 100 suspected offenders since they started operations this morning. The offenders trials are quick, thanks to the prosecutors lead witness, Haxxorman 2099, Russian hacker extraordinaire. He is able to hack into all electronic devices in the courtroom as part of his plea deal, so he can testify against his fellow hackers. It doesn't take too long for him to find the real perpetrators and bring them to justice. Haxxorman quickly stands up from his laptop and says "oh my god, I just saw The Pope Smoking A vape in the Vatican Chapel! he's going down for sure!" The jury deliberates for only a minute and return with a guilty verdict. "You're all going to Hell!" Haxxorman yells at the defendants, who remain expressionless as they stand trial. The Pope says "I'ma not goin down without a fight." He reveals a book from his giant sleeve, a book which summons anything drawn within it and draws a sword, saying "this'll make your souls burn!" The Pope slices the air with his glowing blade and the defendants fall over dead. The judge says "Well done, sir! You have done our society a great service today! The Pope starts a new nation with all the outlaws and calls it Heaven. Haxxorman is appointed its first Prime Minister and he appoints himself as the King of this new country, called Heaven. ⁂"The world is ending!" "No, you're wrong. You get an invitation to Haxxorman and the Pope killer country-warming party. It was held in an old castle, located somewhere in Europe. They had a huge banquet hall with many tables. Each table was filled with delicious food, including fresh meat, fruits, vegetables, pastries, and drinks. You reach for a sandwich, and it bites your hand. You realize this party has been sabotaged and all the sandwiches are ferocious sandwich-like beasts. They begin to attack. The other guests are screaming and running away from the carnage. You try to escape but they grab you and start devouring you. As you die, you see Haxxorman and the Pope standing over you, eating you too. When you die, you go to the real heaven and Jesus hands you a holy weapon of war: a laser-shooting crossbow. He tells you to go back to Earth and kill Haxxorman and the Pope Killer. ⁂ "Yes, Lord!" ⁂ You fire the crossbow and kill Haxxorman. The Pope draws his magic sword as you load another laserbolt into the crossbow. You shoot him in the chest and he falls to the ground. As he dies, he says "This is the end. I knew you would come after me. Now that you've killed me, my power is gone forever." You suspect the Pope has secret magics. You nibble the Pope to consume his power. After a few seconds, you feel the Holy energy flow into your body. You now have the ability to use the powers of the gods. You look down at the Pope and say "I'm sorry, what were your final words?" The Pope begins to speak., but you cut him short with a lightning bolt you summon from the skies. "My last word was 'I'm sorry.'" ⁂ "I'm going to need you to do something for me." ⁂ "What is it?" ⁂ "You need to find my brother and kill him." Next time on "Killing The Under Pope": ⁂ You head to Rome where you find the Pope's brother hiding out. ⁂ You kill him, but he still won't stop trying to get revenge. ⁂ "I am not afraid of you or your underlings!