EP 467 – Story #3 – You are Billy Buster, a guy who’s a big fan of Ghostbusters.

Posted under Episode 467, Story On By Chief

You are Billy Buster, a guy who's a big fan of Ghostbusters. One day, you attend a Ghostbusters fan convention where you see the Ghostbusters car. The keys are in the car, so you go inside of the car and start driving off with it. Dan Aykroyd says, "That guy's stealing our car! We need to bust him." Ernie Hudson replies, "But he's not a ghost." Bill Murray says, "He will be a ghost after we're done with him." The Ghostbuster actors get out their proton packs and start blasting you.
 You try to run away but they catch up with you and blast you back into the car. After that, you crash into the wall at the end of the alleyway.
You wake up in an alleyway near the convention center.

You roll out of your garbage pile bed and ask the first person you find "What time is it?" The person turns and is Ray Parker Jr. Ray Yells into your face " BUSTIN! BUSTIN! BUSTIN! BUSTIN!"

"I'm sorry," you say, "but what does 'Bustin' mean?" Ray smiles and says "It just means I'm trying to bust through your door."
You are confused by this.

Ray makes eye contact and whispers "bustin' makes me feel good."

Your head explodes (that was close!).
You look around and see a man dressed like a bat. He has a large crossbow and shoots you in the leg. You fall down to the ground.

You pull your Yawn-Absorber that saves the power of each yawn during exhale and converts it into electrical energy which gets sent to the global power grid.

You stand up and dust yourself off, then walk over to the batman and punch him in the face.
The batman falls to the floor and says: "Ouch, you're strong!

A medic dressed as an anime schoolgirl runs up to The Batman.
 She takes his pulse and says "No pulse."
You yell, "Hey! You were supposed to save me!" The schoolgirl says "Oh, sorry." and tries to resuscitate the batman.

You watch as The Batman becomes a ghost.

Then, all of the sudden, the Batmobile comes crashing down on top of the schoolgirl. You watch as she gets squished.
You see a crowd of people standing around watching the scene unfold.

Christian Bale emerges from the Batmobile and says "This isn't the parking garage!"
 He looks around and yells "Where the hell am I?!" Everyone points at you. He says "Holy shit, it's the guy that stole my car!" The crowd starts running towards you and you run away.

You look back and see the medic girl turn into a ghost.  You run head first into The Ghostbusters.
 They surround you and start shooting you with their proton packs. You manage to dodge every shot and escape. Then, they catch up to you and blast you with their proton packs again. You continue to run until you reach a dead end.

All is lost and you are about to be sent to the afterlife when all of the sudden the ghost of Batman and the medic girl come to save you.

They say: "Sorry for the delay guys! I had to make sure he didn't steal anything!"
The ghost of Batman says: "Thank god! We almost let a bad guy get away!"

You watch as the Ghost of The Batman fights the Ghostbusters single handedly.
 He wins the fight and says "Let's go home." You follow him to his house.
Once he has opened the front door, you enter the house.
You watch as the Ghostbusters shoot The Batman from afar.

To try and save the ghost Batman, the ghost medic possesses Dan Akroyd and turns the proton laser onto Bill Murray and his proton pack. The resulting explosion turns Bill Murray to dust.

Dan Aykroyd says "What the fuck? Why did you do that?"
The medic says "Because I heard that ghosts can't be harmed by proton beams."
He looks at you and says "I have to thank you for saving my life back there."

Dan admits "I'm finally free of Bill Murray and his nonstop bullshit!"

The medic says "You know, I think I've fallen in love with you."
You agree because you don't want to be alone in the afterlife.
Together, you walk to the kitchen and make coffee together.