EP 465 – Story #2 – The Red Captain was born to a noble family in a Country Estate in the county of Cornwall in the Country of England.

The Red Captain was born to a noble family in a Country Estate in the county of Cornwall in the Country of England. He grew up fast and strong, learning all he could about war and strategy from his father, who had served with distinction in many campaigns. When he was twenty years old, he volunteered for active service in the King's Army.
 After four years of fighting against the rebellious Welsh and Picts in the north of Scotland, he finally earned his Captaincy and was posted to the Kingdom of Rovia.
He was stationed here for three years before he met a beautiful maiden at an annual fair in the south, where her father's
 manor house stood. She was called Rebecca, and they fell in love. They eloped together, but were soon caught by the king's men. The Red Captain pleaded for their lives, offering himself as a hostage, and they took him away from the King's Prisoner barracks.

The Red Captain spent the next five years in prison.
 Once a month, he would be allowed to walk outside on the wall surrounding the grounds of the prison and look down upon the kingdom of Rovia, which had become his home and was now his family's domain.

You decide to grow out your hair and rappel down it to escape the castle. You cut your hair off as you reach the ground, just as you hear the guards on the wall shout to you "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM"! You sprint away as they yell "release the hounds!"

You see a guard run across the yard, waving his arms to stop you. You drop behind a tree, and crawl into the shadows.
"Hey! This isn't funny!" the guard yells, coming towards you.

You sneak up behind the guard and knock him. You take his clothes
,
 his sword
, and his Gold Plated Medical Mask
.
 He falls to the ground.
You hop out from behind the tree and swing the man over your head. You smack him over and over until he stops moving.
You walk back to the house, where Rebecca waits for you with a picnic basket and a warm smile.

You tell Rebecca that we must pack quickly, and escape to Spain!

But how can we? We don't have our supplies. We need money for a new carriage and horses, and all of my books are in this castle!
You rush to your library room and open your secret stash of gold bars.

You going on a shopping spree and buy the following expensive frivolous items:
 A fine pair of shoes for yourself, two new suits of armor, a hat (so you can hide your face and disguise yourself as the Red Captain), a brand-new shield, and a diamond necklace for Rebecca.

You and Rebecca ride off into the sunset on your horse, singing and laughing!
Suddenly, you smell something burning in the distance!
"It's the guards, I told them you escaped, they're after us now!"

The guards hire the best bounty hunter to chase you down, DJ Dankhouse.

He comes galloping up, swinging his sword and kicking you out of the saddle!
You tumble from your horse, landing hard in the dirt.
"You've killed me!" you scream, getting back on your feet.

DJ Dankhouse dismounts his steed, Oontiss, and approaches you with his blade pointed at your throat.

You quickly roll on top of his horse and start beating him with the shield.
"Halt, criminal scum!" the bounty hunter shouts, parrying your blows with his shield.
"This is for the girl who died so that you could live," you shout, pounding your shield into
 him.

DJ Dankhouse plays a eurobeat remix of Never Gonna give You up.
 The tune grows more frenetic.
You stop punching, and raise your shield, ready for him to hit you with his sword.
Dankhouse stops, then grins. "No need for that," he says, and begins playing his last song, a sad ballad.

An electronic rockabilly electroswing song called "
I Love You Baby". The song goes on and on.
Dankhouse stands in front of you, arms crossed, head cocked to one side as the song plays.
You begin singing, "Oh baby, you've got such beautiful eyes, they're like diamonds, they sparkle when
 you smile."
The bounty hunter closes his eyes and smiles at your voice. You notice that his shield is now on fire.
As the song fades to a close, you raise your shield.

You are lulled to sleep. You wake up in Neverland Ranch.

You sit up on the ground. There is no trace of Dankhouse's horse. The bounty hunter lies dead at your feet. His sword is on the ground, near you, glowing.

A rapid, pale thing creeps out from behind and gestures with a gnarled hand "welcome to my ranch."

It's the Red Cap from the King in Yellow.
He pulls you onto a magic carpet. "we need to go away for a bit. i have things to take care of. so, i'm leaving you in my care."