EP 465 – Story #1 – You are Jason from AIPD, the new Spiderman

Posted under Episode 465, Story On By Chief

You are Jason from AIPD. You are the new Spiderman. Here is the story of how you got your powers:

One day, while trying to catch a criminal who had been terrorizing a neighborhood in London, your spider-sense started tingling. When you went into an alleyway, there was no one around, but as soon as you turned around, you saw someone with their back towards you.

> You bump into a Nando's themed villain.

The person turns around and smiles at you - you see that it is actually a clown. He says something like "Here comes the big bad spider!" before he starts 

The clown hides under a pile of Jason and Tony's clothes.

"Hey, clown! Why don't you come out so I can punch you?"
The clown laughs and then jumps on top of the pile of clothes. "Oh dear," he says. "I think this is going to take a little longer than expected."

Your alleyway argument with the clown awakens Nick Fury, who is sleeping in Cory's bed. Nick comes to window and shouts "Get these
 two clowns off my lawn!"
Alfred Pennyworth (Tony Stark's butler) arrives at the window holding a baseball bat. "What do we have here? Another pair of clowns?"

You realize there is misunderstand and Nick and Alfred have confused you for a devious clown.  You try explain yourself, but it is too late!  They attack!

Nick smashes you with his giant hammer.
As you die, you think about how much fun it would be to work for AIPD in New York City.
You wake up in AIPD HQ, where you learn that you've been hired as an unpaid intern.

You have gain the following powers:

Superhuman Strength: You can lift things that are heavy enough to hurt or kill people.
Superhuman Speed: You can move faster than normal people.
Huge Ego: You feel great about yourself all the time.

You use your newfound powers to go hit on Mary Jane.

But she doesn't want anything to do with you.
You leave her alone and head back home, thinking about what happened. It's good to know that you're still alive.
You have gained the following powers:
Spider Sense: Whenever danger is nearby, you will get a sense of
 impending doom. This makes you a lot more careful when fighting villains.
Web Shooters: Your hands and feet now have spidey webs. You can shoot them at people and they'll stick to them.

You push the button.

Michael Jackson appears in a puff of smoke. He is wearing a weird outfit. He says "Hi! My name is Michael Jackson, and I'm here to tell you that you've won a trip to Neverland Ranch!!

You decline.

Michael continues. "How about I give you some money instead?"
You say "No thanks".
Michael sighs. "Fine then! But I'm going to keep calling you losers until you agree to come with me!"

You challenge Michael to a dance-off -- and you win!

Michael is crushed by your dancing, and you escape.
After some investigation, you realize that you were tricked by Tony Stark. He was playing a prank on you.
You run to the phone and call AIPD HQ.

You play a prank on Tony Stark and tell AIPD that Stark Tower is under attack.

He laughs at you and hangs up on you.
You look through your phone to find some pictures of Mary Jane. You decide to send her a text message.
You type "Hey MJ!
 You up?"

She replies "Yes, I am. I just finished making dinner. Would you like to join me?"
You reply "Sure. Meet you in front of the theatre in 20 minutes?"
Mary Jane meets you outside the theatre.

Mary Jane arrives holding the dinner she made:
 spaghetti with meatballs. She seems surprised that you didn't bring anything.
You eat some food and talk about stuff. Mary Jane has a really nice smile.
While you guys are having a wonderful conversation, you suddenly notice something strange.

Mary Jane pulls off a mask to reveal she is Michael Jackson.

Michael says "Hi! I'm Michael Jackson, and I'm here to tell you that you've won a trip to Neverland Ranch!!"
You see the trap coming a mile away. You immediately start to eat spaghetti.

You furiously cram spaghetti in your mouth and begin to feel sleepy. Your vision blurs as you see a wide grin on Michael Jackson's face.

"Goodbye losers!" he yells, as you fall asleep.
You wake up in Neverland Ranch.
It is night time. There is a fire burning in the background, and Michael Jackson is sitting on a throne in the middle of the room.

AIPD bursts into the throne room to save you!

They rush over and beat Michael Jackson to death.
You make a mental note never to trust anyone named Michael again.
You and Mary Jane go on a picnic in Central Park.

Mary Jane that you love her.