EP 459 – Story #3 – Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo around your age.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo around your age.
 It's hard to be sure of that, since you're not very good at judging ages yet. You have the feeling they might all be pretty close in years -- or maybe they were just born yesterday!

You take break and ride your horse into town.
 The streets are filled with people who seem really excited about something. They wave at you as if you had anything to do with their excitement. But you don't; it must be someone else coming back home after being away for a long time.

You look behind you and realize everyone is looking at
 two men leading an oxcart through the main street of the village. Everyone cheers when the cart finally stops by a building near yours: this looks like a tavern!
The crowd parts before you can get there.

You push your way into the tavern and see that the two men have brought a shipment of
 food from outside. Some barrels of salt pork (you think) some dried beans, cornmeal -- lots of stuff. These people will live well now! Maybe they'll even let you join them sometimes...

You munch an incredibly crunchy handful of dried beans and gain the following powers:

• Your eyes turn blue (this one always happens when you eat).
• When you speak, you emit a weird sort of noise which sounds kind of like "Heee-haw!"

You now have strong enough Donkey teeth that you munch through the beans effortlessly. The crowd begins to cheer you on.
 Then you notice the man in the corner watching you. He says nothing, but he smiles warmly. His smile makes you feel strange inside, but you aren't scared. In fact, it almost seems like his presence somehow calms you down and fills you with hope.

You walk over to the man and before you can speak he introduces himself
. His name is Hosea.
"I'm glad I met you," says Hosea. "There's been too much evil and darkness around lately."
He has no horns like the other buffalo here, and his hooves clop quietly against the earth when he walks.

You comment on the man's lack of horns.

"No horned buffalo?" asks Hosea. "Not surprising -- we've never seen anyone with horns here either."
Suddenly the whole room falls silent. All attention turns toward a large figure standing up front.
 You recognize him as the leader of this group of Buffalo: Big Chief Joseph. As usual, he wears feathers in his hair, but these ones are white rather than red or black. A feather falls out of his hat and lands on the floor.

You don't pick up the feather.
 Instead, you stand silently next to Big Chief Joseph and wonder how best to respond to what he is saying.
"My warriors, my brave warriors," says Big Chief Joe. "Tonight we gather to celebrate our victory over the Horsemen."

You exclaim, "Whoa!  What a coincidence, I was just talking to a Horsemen!" and you point to the mysterious figure you were just talking to.

Big Chief Joe laughs boisterously. The rest of the tribe joins in, except for one lone voice that protests from somewhere among the ranks of Buffalo. You hear the sound of metal striking wood as someone throws something across the room.

A sharpened horseshoe lands at Chief Joseph's feet. "WHO THREW THIS," the chief screams.

Everyone drops whatever they're holding and raises their hands. "It wasn't me, sir," you say nervously.
Big Chief Joe stares right past you, focusing only on the guilty party.

You watch as the Chief challenges a horse.
 You know that most horses would probably try to run away during a challenge such as this. This one does not. Rather, it charges straight forward, rearing high above the ground until its head is level with the top of Big Chief Joe's head.

They choose the only game horses use to prove themselves: Horseshoes.

As soon as the contest starts, you realize that your horse is not going to win this one easily. Your animal has never played Horseshoes before, so you can tell that he's having trouble getting the hang of things.

> YOU SHOUT "YOU BET ON THE WRONG HORSE!"

This is the wrong thing to say. The horse ignores you completely, and continues charging. The chief's reaction is violent.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!" Big Chief shouts angrily. "HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR MY AUTHORITY?
 I ORDERED THAT MARE TO COME IN AND NOW SHE WON'T! ISN'T THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO ABOUT THIS SUDDENLY LACK OF COMMITMENT FROM MY ANIMALS?!
"


You interrupt the chief's tirade with a ringer. The mare notices you.



Your horse doesn't even stop when he hits the iron ball with the tip of his nose. He keeps galloping forward, smashing into the wall of the arena, and then ramming again, and again, and again, and again...



The arena collapses, killing Chief Joe.



The entire place erupts with laughter and shouting. You are suddenly surrounded by many friendly faces. You decide you like it here.