EP 459 – Story #2 – You are Punching Bear, a proud Comanche warrior.

Posted under Episode 459, Story On By Chief

You are Punching Bear, a proud Comanche warrior. Carl, your tribe's pet buffalo, is the last of its kind. This morning, you awake to discover that Carl has died from old age. To honor his memory, you vow to use every part of his body to it's full potential.
 The meat will feed the tribesmen and give them strength for their hunt; the hide can be used as armor for yourself or made into weapons by a local blacksmith; the bones may serve to build something useful in this godforsaken land;
 but most importantly, the blood of Carl will provide enough power so that one day all men -- including those who would kill an innocent animal just for sport! You have sworn to make these things happen no matter what, even if it means using the skull of the man who killed him as a weapon.

You drench yourself in the blood of Carl to infuse yourself with buffalo energy, and begin your trek of revenge. You gain the following comanche Buffalo Bear powers:

-Your speed increases 5%.
-The damage done against you reduces by 1% per second.
-A special attack called 'Buffalo Charge' causes enemies near you to lose 10 HP instantly upon hitting you.

Your prime suspect of the buffalo murder is Tony, a guy who needs someone to fix his treadmill.
 He'll need more than his own two legs when he gets punched around today. Your goal now is to get close enough to hit him before his buffaloes do. It won't be easy since they're pretty fast too...

You make plan to get past Tony's buffalo soldiers.
 They're not very bright because they've been drinking all afternoon. You take advantage of their drunkenness and sneak behind them without being noticed. Their stupidity works both ways though -- don't forget about your special attack, "buffalo charge".

You are almost past all the buffalo soldiers when one soldier who woke up to pee notices you.  You buffalo charge.
 This soldier was drunk enough to fall over and die right away. Unfortunately, his friends notice your approach and turn on you. Now it's time to show them what happens when they mess with a buffalo hunter like you.

You Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
 The buffalos charge, but instead of attacking you, they run towards Tony! What?! How did they know? Were they trying to warn Tony? Or were they simply running towards the best food source available?

You surge with buffalo power, and join them. You have become Munching Buffalo.
  While they mow down everyone else, you quickly dispatch Tony. Then you head back to camp. After eating some delicious buffalo burgers (you couldn't wait until tomorrow), you go to sleep knowing that your quest for vengeance has finally come to an end.