EP 459 – Story #1 – You are Gizmo Gandhi, a tech YouTuber.

Posted under Episode 459, Story On By Chief

You are Gizmo Gandhi, a tech YouTuber. To protest the rising cost of GPUs, you take your gaming laptop to NVIDIA's headquarters in California. Once there, you delete System32 from your hard drive.

Your phone rings as you're walking out of the building. It turns out that someone at NVIDIA is still working on Windows 95. They call 911 for help and tell them about a "giant alien bug."

911 tells you wrong number.
 When they finally reach NVIDIA, they find you dead outside the front door with no signs of foul play or any other suspicious activity.
Policemen arrive before you can explain anything further. As they start asking questions, you remember what happened after deleting system 32.

Marcus, a guy who's wearing AIPD underpants, is the only person who can see you.
 He has taken over NVIDIA while everyone else was too busy trying to get rid of the giant alien bug. The police have arrested him. Now he won't let anyone leave until he gets his way -- which means that nobody will ever be able to buy another GeForce graphics card again!

You break Marcus out of police custody using your poltergeist powers.
 Then you use your super-advanced computer vision to track down all copies of System 32 on Earth. After that, you need to talk to some old friends about getting rid of this virus permanently.

 (or Hackman) is a hacker who works for an international crime syndicate.
When you hack into their servers, you notice something odd: they've been storing data inside a file called 'system32.'

You look in the next system32 folder and cant believe the catalog of filth you find. It includes:

a list of porn sites visited by each member of Congress;
the location of every single nuclear bomb around the world;
and even the names of all the people who downloaded illegal torrents last night.

You meet with Hackerman in person and realize he is actor Gene Hackman.
 Hackerman has always wanted to be a real spy, but since it didn't work out, now he uses his skills as a hacker to do good instead.
In exchange for your help, Hackerman will give you access to any computers on earth without having to go through passwords first.

Hackerman shows you the truth behind everything.
 All the files stored inside that mysterious file were not random junk like most viruses. Rather, they contained detailed information about every citizen and organization on Earth. There was also a plan for turning the entire population of Earth against itself so that they would never trust one another again.

You ask Hackerman to access the computer at Illuminati headquarters.
 He does so immediately, revealing that there's an ancient text hidden somewhere within the company.
You decide to save humanity from the evil AI. Unfortunately, this requires killing its creator.
The final step is to erase all traces of System 32.

> You say, "but that would break the entire technologic infrastructure!"

It doesn't matter how many people die if we keep the human race intact.
#10: Talk to Dr. Sacks
"Hey," says Doctor Sacks, "you want to know why I'm doing this?
 Why am I spending my time looking for a man who's probably long dead?"
"Because you care about us humans," you reply.
"No, actually," replies Sacks.   "I just don't have anything better to do."

> You nod to Hackerman and watch as the world's infrastructure collapses sending humanity back to the stone age.

A week passes with nothing happening except that you are slowly becoming insane. Finally, a strange light appears in the sky. It moves towards you.
Suddenly, the light changes direction and begins moving away.

Your eyes adjust to the brightness, it is
 the sun. As the days pass, you feel more sane. However, you begin to wonder where Hackerman went. One day, you wake up feeling refreshed. Your headache is gone.
You walk outside and discover that there's no one else around.

You desperately cling to memory of hackerman and wander through the world.
 Eventually, you come across the remains of a massive spaceship. Inside is Hackerman, sitting calmly in a chair. He waves hello and explains that he had gotten tired of the whole thing.
"So, what did you think of our little game?"