You are Mike Lyndell, founder and inventor of the MyPillow. You wake up in a Red Roof Inn outside Dayton, OH, sweaty and hungover. Just as you realize the crack has run out, your phone begins to ring . It's Halley, your wife, asking if she can come home early from her new job at the local university hospital. "Sure," you say groggily. "I'm gonna head down there now." > You get in the car and head to the university. It is nearly midnight when you arrive at the hospital, but it's still bustling with activity. As you walk through the lobby, a nurse sees you and calls over another woman wearing scrubs that look like they were made by sewing together an old pair of jeans. > You ask them "Where's my wife!" The nurse says, "Dr. Lindell? She went upstairs to see one of our patients." "What patient?" asks you. "She said something about 'the boy'." You're not sure what this means until the nurse points towards the elevators. > You walk towards the elevator and enter. There's a kid sitting on a bench, reading a comic book. He looks up at you as you approach. He's wearing a white T-shirt and blue shorts. His skin is pale and his eyes are bright green. > You ignore the child and continue to see your wife. As you reach the elevator doors, the door opens and Halley steps out. She smiles at you and kisses you. "Hey, babe! I was just going to call you," she says. > You scream in her face "Never interrupt me while I'm working again!" and storm out of the hospital. Halley follows you outside and starts talking. "So, anyway, I got a job offer today," she says excitedly. "Yeah?" you say, trying to sound enthusiastic. "I think it could be great for us. They want me to work part time at the hospital, so I can keep doing my own research. We'll have more money, too. Maybe we can finally afford to buy that house you've always wanted." > You ask "How is a house supposed to cure the world with MyPillows? Did you even think about that?" and sprint ahead of her towards the car. Halley catches up to you as you pull into the parking lot. "What's wrong?" she asks. "Nothing," you say. "Just tired." "Didn't sleep well last night?" > You scram "I slept great last night," you turn to face the camera "because of my MyPillow!" "Huh?" says Halley. "Because of my MyPillow," you repeat. "That's why I didn't sleep well. Because of my MyPillow." Halley laughs and pulls you into a hug. > You sob gently into your wife's arms and confess "I know the pillow's a sham, I only love you Dr. Lindell." Halley holds you tight, saying nothing. "You should go back inside, honey," she says softly. "No," you say. "I don't want to." "But..." "But, what?" you ask . "I'm here with you. I can wait a little longer." Halley smiles sadly. "You know how much I love you, right?" she asks. "Of course I do," you say. > You ask "Who's the boy?" "I dunno," says Halley. "A friend of mine from high school." "Is he cute?" "Yeah," says Halley. "Very." "Does he know that?" "Wait, are you cheating on me?" you ask . "Why would I cheat on you?" Halley asks. "Well, because I'm such a terrible husband and all." "You're not a terrible husband, Michael," says Halley. "I smoke crack all night long, I can't keep dragging you down with me, we need to separate." you say . "We can't do that, Michael," says Halley. "Why not?" you ask. "Because we're married, silly." "Okay, okay," you say.
EP 446 – Story #1 – You are Mike Lyndell, founder and inventor of the MyPillow.
Posted under Episode 446, Story On By Chief