EP 445 – Story #2 – You are Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

You are Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Your siblings are; a sister who is called Yvaine "The Paper" Kohnson, a brother who is called Shane "The Scissor" Lohnson. You are currently sitting in your Mohns- oh, mansion. Sorry about that. I made a mistake. Anyway, what do you do?

Your family owns the largest and most powerful newspaper on the planet. But there's something wrong with them. They don't seem to be able to talk to each other. And they're all acting strange.


> You notice Rock the Johnson Wayne, a failed clone, walk into your living room.

You notice Rock the Johnson Wayne, a failed clone, walk into your living room. He asks if he can join you for dinner.
You say yes. The three of you sit down at the table.

> You eat pie.

"What kind of pie did you make?" asks Shane.
"I baked it," says his mother.
"It tastes like fruit," says Shane.
"That's right!" says their mother proudly.

The live audience claps and laughs uproariously.

Rock looks confused. "Uh... what?"
"This is my first attempt at baking a pie," says your mother. "I'm really proud of it."
"Yeah, but..."

> YOU ASK "CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?!"

You ask if he can smell what the rock is cooking!
He smiles broadly and says: "Of course! It smells great!"
"Really?" says Shane.
"Sure!" says Rock.

Your mom confesses "I wanted to join AIPD, but I got fired for stealing his buttered pie. You're all complicit in my theft."

Shane says "I told him not to get involved with 
AIPD
 again."
"And yet here we are," says your mother.
You ask "How did you steal his butter pie?"

"Well, you know how I always have this problem with my tongue sticking out when I'm angry?"
"Yes," says Shane.
"So I went over to his house one night and I put some butter on his pie, then I stuck my tongue out as far as it would go
 and licked it off."
"Why didn't you just lick the pie?" asks Shane.
"Because that wouldn't be funny enough," says Rock.
"You're right," says Shane.

The rock raises his eyebrow so high it leaves his forehead and floats in the air.

"But now I've got a question for you," says Shane.
"Okay," says Rock.
"If I stick my tongue out at you, will you lick it off?"
"Sure," says Rock.

Your mom tells you to pick up a giant pile of Cory from AIPD's clothes.

"Oh, look at him," she says. "He's got himself into quite a predicament."
"Why?" asks Shane.
"Because he's been running around the city looking for a job.

Macho Man Randy Savage breaks through the back door.
 "I need a job!" he shouts.
"Are you a superhero?" asks Shane.
"No," says Randy.
"Then why do you want a job?" asks Shane.
"To support myself while I train to become the greatest wrestler in the world!"

> You yell "I'm gonna be the tower of power, too sweet to be sour, funky like a monkey, skies the limit and space is the place!"

"I don't think you'll fit through the door," says Shane.
Randy pounds on the door.
"Open up! I'm a hero!"
You open the door.
"I'm a superhero!"

> You and Macho Man embrace in the most manly hug ever witnessed.  Shockwaves emit from your manliness.

"I am a superhero!"
"I knew it!"
"What's your superpower?" asks Shane.
"I don't know. I haven't decided yet. But I'm going to save the day!"