EP 443 – Story #3 – You are Fancy Pants, a spoilt teenaged son of a Billionaire, it’s your 16th birthday and you’ve just got a new Tesla, but obviously your Father buys you a Teal Tesla when you wanted a Navy Tesla.

Posted under Episode 443, Story On By Chief

You are Fancy Pants, a spoilt teenaged son of a Billionaire, it's your 16th birthday and you've just got a new Tesla, but obviously your Father buys you a Teal Tesla when you wanted a Navy Tesla. You are Furious Because your father is always buying the wrong presents for Christmas and your birthday.
 He has bought you a dozen cars in the last few years, all made by different companies, all expensive. But none of them are what you really want. So you have decided to do something about it.

You have decided to run away from home and you run to your favorite place in the whole world:
 The High Line. It was built as an art installation, but now it's become a tourist attraction and everyone who visits it loves it. There is a lot of space on the High Line, so there are no people.

You walk in wearing a shirt of literal gold and get a ton of unwanted attention.
 A woman takes a picture of you with her phone. "Hey kid! What's up?" She asks.
"Nothing much," You say.
She looks at your face and says, "No, that's not true."

"Well, I'm trying to escape from my family, so..."
The woman smiles. "I understand. Come here." She walks over to you and puts her arm around you. She leads you off the platform and into the middle of nowhere.

You are suddenly surrounded by country bumpkins in big Ford trucks wielding shotguns.  They tell you that you are going to be kidnapped and held for ransom.
 You try to fight back, but they easily overpower you. Then one of them grabs your hands and ties them behind your back.
They tie you up and throw you in the back of their truck.

You are taken to a remote cabin in the woods.  The lead Hillbilly Mort tells you to call your Dad.
 He gives you his cell phone. "Call him," he says. "Tell him where we are and that you're okay."
You look at the phone and then look up at the hillbilly.

You call your Dad and before you can say anything, Mort snatches your phone away and demands a ten million dollar ransom or he will kill you.

Your father pays up, and the next day you are released.
You don't go back to school, because you know that if you did, they would find out about this and they'd send you back home.

You are learning about automobiles at school and when you look at the picture in your text book you see two trucks having sex.
 One is navy blue and the other is teal. You think about how much you hate both colors, and then you realize that you actually like them both. You also notice that your favorite color is teal.

You wait to be picked up from school, but then you Two trucks having sex in the parking lot.
 They pull up and you get into the backseat of the teal truck. You see a sign that says "Welcome to Fancy Pants". You start crying.
Inside the truck you meet a young man named Doug.

Doug is confused, but can see you are upset.  You reveal your troubled past to Doug.
 He listens sympathetically. You tell him how your father is rich, but doesn't care about you. You explain how your father wants you to marry some girl he's never even met, and you just want to get away from him.

Doug says, "That ain't right, you should marry who you want and not who is best for political reasons that your father has."

You smile at him and say, "Thanks, Doug. That means a lot coming from someone who works in a gas station."
Doug laughs and says, "I know what you mean.
 My mom used to work at a bank. I guess I was just born to be a greasy mechanic."
You laugh and hug him.
After that, you spend a lot of time together.

A few months later, you ask Doug to adopt you.

He agrees and you move in with him.
Doug gets you a job working at a local car dealership. You are excited to get a job, because you have been living on his dime since you moved in.

You level up and gain the following car salesman powers:

• You can sell any car
• You can instantly know the price of any car
• You can tell which cars are being sold by other people
• You can make people buy cars
• You can give customers a free upgrade
• You can trick people into buying the wrong car
At
 first, you are nervous to use these powers. You don't want to trick anyone. But you need money, so you decide to test them out. You use your powers on Doug and convince him to buy a BMW.

You show up at the dealership the next day and Doug is shocked.
"What? You said it was a great deal!"
You smile and say, "It is. But I can't tell you why."

You sell Doug the BMW for
 $120,000.
Doug is furious. He storms out of the office and comes back a few minutes later with a gun. He threatens to shoot you if you don't come with him.

You follow Doug and he takes you
 to his house. He introduces you to his wife, Sharon. She's a little bit overweight and wears too much makeup.
Sharon tells you she has breast cancer. She is worried that she won't live long enough to see Doug graduate college.

You fall to the ground in tears.  Doug and his fat wife are the saddest people you have ever met in your rich sheltered life.  You tear up the contract and tell Doug to not worry it anymore.

Doug gets you a nice apartment, and you move in with him.
Doug's dad has been pressuring him to join the military, but he refuses. Instead, he joins a company called Special Operations Command.

You join Special Operations Command with Doug.  The goals of Special Operations Command are:

• To prevent terrorist attacks
• To stop nuclear proliferation
• To recover stolen government property
• To eliminate threats to national security
There are several units within Special Operations Command. Each unit specializes in a certain type of mission.
 Your unit is called Task Force Whatever.
Task Force Whatever is responsible for stopping terrorists from getting their hands on weapons of mass destruction.
The only problem is that your team is terrible at their jobs.

You accidentally sell nuclear warheads to North Korea.

You also sell a bunch of anthrax to al-Qaeda.
But worst of all, you let the entire organization get away.
You are demoted to Private First Class.
Doug gets promoted to Sergeant.

Next time on "Richie Rich 2: Down with Doug and his fat wife":

You are assigned to a new unit.
Your new assignment is to track down terrorists and stop them from getting their hands on nukes.
You head out with your partner, Major Tom.