EP 443 – Story #2 – You are KyrilGrey, a man who is on the run from the FBI after managing to speedrun Dark Souls 2 within 4 minutes, a feat which is considered impossible by many fools, who are simply unaware of your awe and might.

Posted under Episode 443, Story On By Chief

You are KyrilGrey, a man who is on the run from the FBI after managing to speedrun Dark Souls 2 within 4 minutes, a feat which is considered impossible by many fools, who are simply unaware of your awe and might. The FBI agents have decided to bring you in for questioning, in order to inquire about how you managed to finish such a hard game in such a short time.
 But what they do not know is that you are not just any ordinary man; you are one of them, an agent who has been working undercover in the organization for years. You have infiltrated every level of their hierarchy and have even managed to get close to their leader, a man named Arakhanah
st. Now he wants you dead, but before you can be killed you must find out more information regarding his plans against humanity. In order to do so, you will need to use all of your skills as an agent and adapt to this new world of Dark Souls 3, where there is no respawning

You play Dark Souls 3 and show a speed run to Arakhana, Agent of the Radiant Sun.
 After escaping from prison with a few friends, you learn that the Demon Lord is coming back, but instead of waiting for him like everyone else does, you decide to go after him yourself! Your mission: destroy the Demon Lord's Army and prove that you're worthy of being called "The Dragon Slayer."

You come up with speedrun strats and beat Dark Souls 3 in under
 four minutes, making it into the Guinness Book of World Records. However, when you finally reach the Demon Lord himself, you realize he isn't actually human at all, but a massive dragon known as “Arakhanahst”.

You wonder if this is normal or if this is a bug caused by your speedrun tactics.  You ask the devolopers of From Software and they tell you
 that yes, this is perfectly normal behavior for a Demon Lord. They also say that you've been assigned to kill him because he's too powerful and needs to be stopped.
After getting caught by the FBI, you find out that you have been framed for murder and are now wanted for crimes against humanity

You read a list of your alleged crimes:

- Murdering innocent people during your escape from prison.
- Destroying multiple armored vehicles belonging to the U.S. Government.
- Setting off a nuclear bomb in New York City.

You laugh at the audacity that you have done any of these things.  But then you realize that when you did your speedrun of Dark Souls, you accidentally did arbitrary code execution that created a super virus that infected computers around the world.
 It turns out that the FBI had hacked into all of those computers and planted evidence against you, but somehow you escaped.
Your only hope is to clear your name and prove that you aren't guilty of any of these crimes.

You prove your innocence by livestreaming attempts to speedrun Demon Souls.
 But as you get closer to beating the game, you discover that there are hidden secrets within Demon Souls that will help you fight Arakhanahst.

Also Arakhanahst is real and was created by the FBI.

 He has some sort of connection to the FBI and is trying to take over the world.
In order to defeat him, you need to gather a group of legendary warriors known as the Four Heavenly Kings.

That is just what they call themselves on the speedrunning forums, but they are actually four incredibly nerdy kids in their early 20s with horrible acne and even worse body odor.

They are all former members of the Order of the Flame and have sworn to protect humanity from the threat of the Demon Lord. Their combined strength is formidable and includes
Baldur, who is a giant dude covered in fur and wields a massive warhammer.
 His favorite food is potatoes.
Egil, who has dark skin and wears black armor. His preferred weapon is dual swords. Egil is secretly a woman.
Ivar, who is a tiny little guy with green hair and wears red armor.
 Ivar has a tendency to forget everything he learns and needs constant reminders.
Nanami, who has pale skin and wears blue armor. Nanami has a serious case of hero worship and is constantly trying to impress the other three.

You and the boys from the Order of the Flame meet Arakhanahst at a local rec center for your final showdown.
 As you fight, you discover that Arakhanahst is actually a computer program created by the FBI. The FBI had hacked into the servers of Demon Souls and made Arakhanahst appear to be a real person.

You lead the charge and punch Arakhanahst in the neck.
 He laughs and says that he's never been defeated before. But then Baldur smashes him with his hammer, Egil stabs him with two swords, Ivar throws a fireball at him, and Nanami shoots an arrow into his eye.

The FBI surrounds all of you and you are arrested for real murder of a poor homeless person dressed up like a dragon.

As you sit in jail, you see that the FBI has uploaded a video onto the internet of the entire battle with Arakhanahst. It goes viral and is viewed millions of times.