EP 442 – Story #3 – You are Mr. Greedy, a guy who craves cash

Posted under Episode 442, Story On By Chief

You are Mr. Greedy, a guy who craves cash. One day, you're pacing around the streets in search of fallen money. You see a guy who's carrying his wallet, because his pants have no pockets in them. The guy says, "This wallet's too heavy to carry. I'm going to put it on the sidewalk." He does that which gives you an opportunity to snatch his wallet.
 But instead of doing that, you decide to use him as a human shield against some muggers who might be lurking nearby. You and your hostage run away from the scene.
A few minutes later, you hear sirens approaching.

You hear police yelling out "Who lost their wallet?!"

"It was me!" you yell back.
The cops chase after you and they grab hold of you. They ask you what happened. You tell them everything about how you were running from muggers when you heard the police coming so you used this guy as a human shield.

You level up and gain the following honesty powers:

- You can lie with impunity.
- You can make people believe whatever you say.
- Your lies will never come true.
Now, whenever you want to deceive someone, you just need to think of something that is completely impossible for you to do.

you walk up to a random person and lie to them "you will never die"

they reply "I don't believe you."
you reply "prove it."
he laughs and says "what?"
you reply "do you really think you're going to live forever?

You say to the man, "I had a good reason for stealing the wallet. I need money to buy a subscription to AIPD."

He looks at you suspiciously. "What's AIPD?" he asks.
You tell him about the American Institute of Parapsychology and its new online magazine called 'WTF'.

The man attempts to change the subject and says, "Hey dude. Nice store you got here man. Yep. So uhhh... I know you might deny me cause of my age... but, erm... Got any flavored condoms? Oh yes please. Yeah the porn mag. Just one. Nah I got my aunt's nicotine gum. How much does it cost?"

"Two dollars," you reply.
He hands over a dollar bill and takes the condom.
You then say, "Hey, why did you give me a dollar?"
He replies, "Cause you lied to me.

You say, "I didn't lie." as you push him into traffic where he is hit by an 18 wheeler and then a hummer limo and then tank rolls over him.  He gets up, stunned that he is still alive!

"Wait!" he yells, "What happened?"
You reply, "You gave me a dollar for lying to you."
He walks away in shock.
You look down at your hand and see a dollar bill in your palm.

You continue to watch the man walk home and you notice you lie is causing a monkey paw situation to occur for this stranger.  As he continues his walk home, he is attack by the following:

- You are attacked by muggers.
- You are attacked by a gang of robbers.
- You are attacked by terrorists.
- You are attacked by a mob of angry citizens.

Miraculously the stranger lives.

You realize you have been using your power to create these events. You feel guilty and decide to stop lying to people. However, the effects of your lie magic seem to be permanent.

Next time on "Liar Liar 2: Pants on Fire":

You are walking down the street and a homeless man approaches you and asks you if you want to buy a cup of coffee.
You say "Sure."
He says, "Good. I've got a great deal today.